Tuesday, April 27, 2010

tears and perspective

i think i probably come across like i have it all together a lot. that is because of my God. my God has instilled in me this little thing called perspective. i lost my dad when i was 13. so, everything i see is through the eyes of someone that lost their dad when they were 13. i had a great relationship with him, and even after he died i continued having really good relationships with really good people. but sometimes when i'm alone... that perspective isn't always at the forefront of my mind.

so today, i go into maz's preschool for this thing called muffins for moms. i hung out with a couple of other moms and a pastor, his wife, and a teacher. the other moms kept talking about all of their kids... and how fun it is to watch their interactions. the whole time i'm smiling, nodding, laughing with them. i am happy for them. i really am. but at the same time i am suffering because it wasn't in our plans to just have maz... though he is near perfect so what can we complain about? :)

but, yeah... we would have loved for our home to be filled with children. laughing...giggling...playing...fighting...hugging...loving... but that's not what God had planned for us right now. and that's okay. we are blessed. there are much more difficult places to be in life. so, i smile and enjoy what i have. i thank God every day for what he has given me.

but sometimes it's hard. and sometimes.... sometimes i cry. and give it to God. and that's okay too.


  1. ((hugs)) I understand!!! And you're doing the right thing. Nothing better to do than let go and let God. I'll be praying for you!

  2. I'm with Kristin too on this one. Your testimony will impact others and as it did for me today. So thanks Melissa.
    PS-Maybe you, Kristin and I should get together some time.

  3. thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've been praying and will keep praying for you guys in that area. love ya!