Tuesday, July 13, 2010


people in general really inspire me. my friend sarah is inspiring to me.... she's not just inspiring, she's awesome... anyway, i stole the following right off of her page :)

...this week in nancy guthries "one year book of hope", i pondered this as i read;

To run from suffering is to refuse to see God's hand at work in the midst of it To run from suffering is to rejectthe lssns God has for you in it..
While Jesus tells us no to run from suffering, he suggests we do more than simply endure it. He admonishes us to embrace it... To embrac suffering is to enjoy God's presence in your life even when you are filled with questions fo rhim. To embrace suffering is to enter into a deeper relationship wit God that you could not hav enjoyed without experencing pentetrating pain. The suffering not only makes you crave such a elationship, it gives you the capacity to savor it. Ultimately, to embrace suffering is to allow your now broken heart to be more easily rebroken by the thing that break the heart of God.


If you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for He will never fail you. 1 Pet. 4:19

now, that, my friends.... is intense.

Friday, July 2, 2010

the rest of my trip and coming home

i left off with a story of being seperated from my friends and fortunately being brought back together with them. it was pretty awesome. as a matter of fact the entire vacation was pretty awesome.

it was exactly at time in my life when i needed it. just the week or two before i had been struggling with feeling "my worth". i had been feeling like i was a burden to everyone, that the "plan that God has for me" was not working out, and that being a mom and wife that God wants me to be was just draining. so, a week where i could just focus on being happy, listening to God, and relaxing was much needed.

the hike was monday so i'll pick up with tuesday. tuesday we went to the top of the rocky mountains and it was beautiful and awesome. at the top of the mountain we saw mountain goats and even baby mountain goats jumping over one another. Gods creation was awesome and it was really fun to be in it. i did freak out the entire way up and down the mountain, but it was totally worth it.

we ended up kind of pushing it on time when on the top of the mountain because we had horseback riding reservations at 5:30 at a place called "the van eden ranch". and wow. they seemed a little bit flighty on the phone, but really we had no idea what was in store for us. everyone that lived/worked there was a hippy, and i have nothing against hippies (as a matter of fact there is something really cool about it), but most of them were pretty high/stoned. and, i'm not talking about the fact that we were in the mountains or that there were a lot of rocks. yeah. pretty cool. our "guide" smelled of marijuana and kept laughing every time my horse refused to walk. my horse was really stubborn. he would stop in the middle of a bunch of trees. refuse to walk with the other horses. ram my leg against a tree. take me right through a tree and if i would be more flexible i would be doing some matrix moves, but since i'm not it just hurt. needless to say i was pretty disappointed with that whole experience. but, it was beautiful :)

and on wednesday we went into boulder and just went shopping. it was a very relaxing day.... at the end of it we went to boulder dinner theater and saw peter pan. honestly, i think seeing peter pan was my favorit part of the trip. the actors and actresses were the wait staff. watching all of the kids was fun, but the play itself was just a ton of fun. my friends said i should join a theatre group and begin acting myself and i just may look into it. it was way fun. and i bought a super cool peter pan pop up book too.

thursday morning we went to the airport, and i was freaking out the whole time. what if we're too late? what if i miss my flight? what if there are problems? what if? what if? what if? anyway, despite my anxieties i made it. at the end of security in denver the security guy was like, "i need to check your bag." so, sure... i had him check my bag. just my luck.... michael had left his pocket knife in the front pocket and i hadn't even noticed it! and, no one at the other airports noticed it either! i was in the midst of freaking out so i just had him keep it, but it wasn't really a big deal. just one more reason to freak out :) i made it to my plane and everything went well from there.

when i got home mazerick ran to me and gave me a hug, but seriously... it was almost as if i weren't out of town to him. he had a great time with his grandma. i called him on wednesday and said, "hey, tomorrow you get to come to the airport with grammy and pick me up." and he said, "cool, but right now i'm going to eat eggs." i'm glad he had fun, but he could have missed me a little :) and after he ran into my arms at the airport he says one thing.... not, "i love you, or i missed you." but, "i get to play with zane today!" i'm glad to be back with him :)

and i took him to the fair last night and he got to ride a bunch of rides. he had a great time. and today i took him bowling with zane and my mom. that was fun too :) now, it's back to real life and relaxing.

and my vacation gave me a good close God time and good time with friends. God is good and life is fun :)