life and identity

so, i've been in this spot lately where i've been realizing where my identity is, and thinking about what i want it to be, etc. etc. and, i've realized... i've come to terms with.... the fact that i'm not like beth moore, and some of those other really good writers, but here i am anyway :)

i have really been relying on God. a lot. and, He has been teaching me. and, i've been seeing things in a different light. well, kind of. you see, i've always loved God and sought his will for my life. i've known of all the things that i "should" do-spiritually. all of the things that i "should" do to keep my relationship with God in the forefront. and the other night my husband (who is so awesome) was telling a friend that when it comes to her relationship with God she needs to take all of the "should" out and just be with him. Get to know him and who He wants you to be. I've known this forever, but think i got stuck in a rut again.... of "shoulding". And, where do you go from there?

well, i went here...

colossians 4:2 says, "devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." and i went to proverbs... because the vineyard church is doing that, and i like doing that kind of stuff with people. and, i've been going to friends.... cause they are awesome. yep.

and, i've been thinking a lot about my identity lately. i want to be exactly who God wants me to be. i want to be a good wife, a good mom, and a good friend. but, i also just want to be. i think more importantly than being a good wife, mom and friend God wants me to just be. be happy in him. be grateful. be open to listening. and just be. so, that's where i'm at.