a new day

i had an amazing weekend with my best friend Michael and my favorite kid in the whole world Maz.... and some great friends.

i've decided that i'm going to read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. there's been some controversy over the book, but that's not why i'm reading it. i'm reading because i feel like God keeps tugging at my heart and pushing me to read it. today, i read another excerpt from it, and i will share it here.

the prayer especially hit home for me. i made bold the part that was huge for me....

Someone I Can Be Real With
If you merely pretend that you enjoy God or love Him, He knows.
You can’t fool Him; don’t even try. Instead, tell Him how you feel.
Tell Him that He isn’t the most important thing in this life to you,
and that you are sorry for that. Tell Him that you’ve been lukewarm,
that you’ve chosen _____________ over Him time and again.
Tell Him that you want Him to change you, that you long to genuinely enjoy Him.
Tell Him how you want to experience true satisfaction and pleasure and
joy in your relationship with Him. Tell Him you want to love Him more than
anything on this earth. Tell Him you want to experience the kingdom of heaven so much so that you’d willingly sell everything in order to get it.
Tell Him what you like about Him, what you appreciate, what brings you joy.

Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love you and walk with You on my own.
I can’t do it, I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life. I want You. And when I don’t, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me.

Crazy Love by Frances Chan