the den

so, i started a blog for the den youth center. check it out.

feeling sorry for yourself?

i get frustrated sometimes. today i felt like God led me to 1 peter. and, the following is the first thing i read...

Cultivate Inner Beauty

^1-4The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

actually i read it in the niv first so it says, "wives, be submissive to your husbands." which was funny to me.... i was like, "man, why would God lead me to that scripture right now?" ugh. anyway, i like my husband :) read on...

^4-6Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as "my dear husband." You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

⁷The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God's grace, you're equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don't run aground.

Suffering for Doing Good

^8-12Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing.

Whoever wants to embrace life
and see the day fill up with good,
Here's what you do:
Say nothing evil or hurtful;
Snub evil and cultivate good;
run after peace for all you're worth.
God looks on all this with approval,
listening and responding well to what he's asked;
But he turns his back
on those who do evil things.

^13-18If with heart and soul you're doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you're still better off. Don't give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They'll end up realizing that they're the ones who need a bath. It's better to suffer for doing good, if that's what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That's what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others' sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.

that is some good stuff :) i love Jesus :)

today

typically i do not sleep past 7:30. this is in large due to the fact that mazerick wakes up pretty early. but today, i rolled over to see the clock say 8:21. oh my. maz has to be at school at 9. okay, well we've still got time to get up and get ready and get him there on time. so, i get up and get dressed. i go down the hall to get maz up. i go in his room and say, maz... time to get up. and he says, "mom, you've got to be kidding me." no joke. even in his sleep he's funny. i was like, yeah maz. you've got to get up to go to school. and he says, "but i'm still sleeping." i say, "okay, well... you need to start waking up. i'm going downstairs, but i'm leaving your door open so you can start to wake up and get up on your own." and i went downstairs... not a minute later i hear "click" he closes his door. what a kid :) he got up about 5 minutes later, but man... that kid cracks me up :)

God is good :)

inspiring

people in general really inspire me. my friend sarah is inspiring to me.... she's not just inspiring, she's awesome... anyway, i stole the following right off of her page :)

...this week in nancy guthries "one year book of hope", i pondered this as i read;

To run from suffering is to refuse to see God's hand at work in the midst of it To run from suffering is to rejectthe lssns God has for you in it..
While Jesus tells us no to run from suffering, he suggests we do more than simply endure it. He admonishes us to embrace it... To embrac suffering is to enjoy God's presence in your life even when you are filled with questions fo rhim. To embrace suffering is to enter into a deeper relationship wit God that you could not hav enjoyed without experencing pentetrating pain. The suffering not only makes you crave such a elationship, it gives you the capacity to savor it. Ultimately, to embrace suffering is to allow your now broken heart to be more easily rebroken by the thing that break the heart of God.

*wow*

If you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for He will never fail you. 1 Pet. 4:19

now, that, my friends.... is intense.

the rest of my trip and coming home

i left off with a story of being seperated from my friends and fortunately being brought back together with them. it was pretty awesome. as a matter of fact the entire vacation was pretty awesome.

it was exactly at time in my life when i needed it. just the week or two before i had been struggling with feeling "my worth". i had been feeling like i was a burden to everyone, that the "plan that God has for me" was not working out, and that being a mom and wife that God wants me to be was just draining. so, a week where i could just focus on being happy, listening to God, and relaxing was much needed.

the hike was monday so i'll pick up with tuesday. tuesday we went to the top of the rocky mountains and it was beautiful and awesome. at the top of the mountain we saw mountain goats and even baby mountain goats jumping over one another. Gods creation was awesome and it was really fun to be in it. i did freak out the entire way up and down the mountain, but it was totally worth it.

we ended up kind of pushing it on time when on the top of the mountain because we had horseback riding reservations at 5:30 at a place called "the van eden ranch". and wow. they seemed a little bit flighty on the phone, but really we had no idea what was in store for us. everyone that lived/worked there was a hippy, and i have nothing against hippies (as a matter of fact there is something really cool about it), but most of them were pretty high/stoned. and, i'm not talking about the fact that we were in the mountains or that there were a lot of rocks. yeah. pretty cool. our "guide" smelled of marijuana and kept laughing every time my horse refused to walk. my horse was really stubborn. he would stop in the middle of a bunch of trees. refuse to walk with the other horses. ram my leg against a tree. take me right through a tree and if i would be more flexible i would be doing some matrix moves, but since i'm not it just hurt. needless to say i was pretty disappointed with that whole experience. but, it was beautiful :)

and on wednesday we went into boulder and just went shopping. it was a very relaxing day.... at the end of it we went to boulder dinner theater and saw peter pan. honestly, i think seeing peter pan was my favorit part of the trip. the actors and actresses were the wait staff. watching all of the kids was fun, but the play itself was just a ton of fun. my friends said i should join a theatre group and begin acting myself and i just may look into it. it was way fun. and i bought a super cool peter pan pop up book too.

thursday morning we went to the airport, and i was freaking out the whole time. what if we're too late? what if i miss my flight? what if there are problems? what if? what if? what if? anyway, despite my anxieties i made it. at the end of security in denver the security guy was like, "i need to check your bag." so, sure... i had him check my bag. just my luck.... michael had left his pocket knife in the front pocket and i hadn't even noticed it! and, no one at the other airports noticed it either! i was in the midst of freaking out so i just had him keep it, but it wasn't really a big deal. just one more reason to freak out :) i made it to my plane and everything went well from there.

when i got home mazerick ran to me and gave me a hug, but seriously... it was almost as if i weren't out of town to him. he had a great time with his grandma. i called him on wednesday and said, "hey, tomorrow you get to come to the airport with grammy and pick me up." and he said, "cool, but right now i'm going to eat eggs." i'm glad he had fun, but he could have missed me a little :) and after he ran into my arms at the airport he says one thing.... not, "i love you, or i missed you." but, "i get to play with zane today!" i'm glad to be back with him :)

and i took him to the fair last night and he got to ride a bunch of rides. he had a great time. and today i took him bowling with zane and my mom. that was fun too :) now, it's back to real life and relaxing.

and my vacation gave me a good close God time and good time with friends. God is good and life is fun :)

stories...

so, it's been forever. i know. and, i just had a really long blog typed out, but my stupid computer shut down. anyway. here i go.... again.

so, i came to denver on saturday to celebrate our 30th birthdays with bekah and beth. they met me here. it's been an awesome time. saturday we got settled in, went to 16th street mall, ate crepes, walked around in the rain, and went to marakesh. marakesh is a morrocan restaurant where we got to sit on the floors and experience morroco at it's finest :) we got a 5 course morrocan meal, and there was supposed to be a belly dancer, but she wasn't there. bummer. it was a lot of fun, and bekah got a free dessert because it was her birthday.

sunday we went white water rafting which was also totally awesome. and in the evening we went to casa bonita which was fun too.

but today... today we went hiking at the red rocks. it's been awesome to be in Gods beautiful creation and see what he has made for us! anyway, today comes with a story :)

we decided to go hiking from matthews/winters park up to the red rock amphitheater. it's about a 3 1/2 mile hike. but, it is also a 3 1/2 miles back to the car. so i tell the girl that i will hike with them to the amphitheater, but they will have to hike back on their own while i wait for them because there is no way that in my shape i am in a place that i can hike 7 miles. especially in this altitude. it was amazingly beautiful. we got to a place in the trail where it crossed the street, and the girls wanted to eat lunch so we stopped. they ate their turkey sandwiches while i went over to a gentleman in a car and asked him the best way to get tothe amphitheater. he told me that the easiest way would be to walk up the road about a mile. so, we decided to split here as we were all very tired. bekah gave me the bag with the food in it, and i decided to eat in the shade at the amphitheater. so, we parted. they went back to the car and i went to the amphitheater. about 500 feet from the theater i was like, "i hope they got the keys out of the bag." they hadn't. oops. i'm in a bit of a situation here. so, i prayed and asked God for wisdom. (it helps that i've been really close to Him lately:)) i decided i needed to find a ride back to the car because there was no way i was going to walk back there, and i was pretty sure when they got there and figured it out that they wouldn't want to walk all the way back up to the amphitheater again. so, i found some ladies that looked to be about my moms age and told them my dilemma. they told the rest of their party and they ended up taking me to the car. by now i'm dripping with sweat and have a really bad headache from all of heat and walking, and i'm out of water. but, i'm back in the car at least where it is air conditioned :) i'm in a bit of a panic mode as i'm concerned for bekah and beth. what if they were already here? what if they are on their way back to the theatre? what to do? what to do? well, i call michael and tell him my situation. i come to the conclusion that i will wait here and if i see anyone come out of the trail i will describe bekah and beth and see if they have seen them. so, i've decided to wait. i wasn't even finished telling michael what i had decided and i look over by the entrance to the trail, and who do you guess walks out looking really panicked? it's bekah and beth! yipee! i really am thankful that God watches over us. just saying :)

a new day

i had an amazing weekend with my best friend Michael and my favorite kid in the whole world Maz.... and some great friends.

i've decided that i'm going to read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. there's been some controversy over the book, but that's not why i'm reading it. i'm reading because i feel like God keeps tugging at my heart and pushing me to read it. today, i read another excerpt from it, and i will share it here.

the prayer especially hit home for me. i made bold the part that was huge for me....

Someone I Can Be Real With
If you merely pretend that you enjoy God or love Him, He knows.
You can’t fool Him; don’t even try. Instead, tell Him how you feel.
Tell Him that He isn’t the most important thing in this life to you,
and that you are sorry for that. Tell Him that you’ve been lukewarm,
that you’ve chosen _____________ over Him time and again.
Tell Him that you want Him to change you, that you long to genuinely enjoy Him.
Tell Him how you want to experience true satisfaction and pleasure and
joy in your relationship with Him. Tell Him you want to love Him more than
anything on this earth. Tell Him you want to experience the kingdom of heaven so much so that you’d willingly sell everything in order to get it.
Tell Him what you like about Him, what you appreciate, what brings you joy.

Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love you and walk with You on my own.
I can’t do it, I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life. I want You. And when I don’t, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me.

Crazy Love by Frances Chan