my life... in words...(long blog, beware)

born~december 25th, 1979

... before i was born my brother was born. when my mom was prego with him the dr. found out that my dad had a congenital heart defect.... (that means he was born with it, and it could be hereditary... or something like that). anywho, the dr. suggested to my parents that they abort him and not have any children because his life wasn't going to be full. my parents were like no way, and that's how i came about. so, i was born, and i would say my life was freaking awesome. my mom and dad loved each other. they loved us.

life was good. my dad was sick, but as i mentioned before, he never complained. caleb and i were in a bunch of sports, bowled on saturdays, went to breakfast on fridays at the corner cafe with dad, went on family vacations... just good times in general were had by all.

september, 1987 or 8 (can't figure it out right now)~i was hit by a car. put into an immediate coma. drs. said there was no way i would live, and if i did i would be a vegetable. i was in intensive care... in a coma for 5 weeks and stayed in the hospital for 3 months i believe. had speech therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy. had to learn everything over. passed with my second grade class... thanks to linda huff... she's awesome. well, i'm alive. and, i'm not a vegetable...while i was in the hospital my dad had a stroke and ended up in intensive care. my brother was failing the 4th grade (but got through it). anyway, needless to say, mom had her hands full:) i came out of the hospital and did therapy for a long time after... don't remember how long. but a long time.

oh yeah... in september (on the same day i got hit 10 years earlier) my mom hit and killed a little amish boy.... a horrible accident. but, i can't even imagine what she went through when she found out that i was hit that day.

sometime in 5th grade~dad had a stroke. caleb and i walked home with one of my friends that day. we saw dad on the chair, and he couldn't say anything to us. we didn't know what was going on. eventually we called my friends mom, and she ended up getting a hold of my mom and dad went to the hospital and came back from it. even though the drs. said it wouldn't happen.

you see... our family like to prove the drs wrong.

7th grade~pastor joe came to the school to pick up my brother and i. we knew something was wrong. dad was in the hospital again. i figured he'd come out like he had previously. i love him. i love Jesus. i was in quizzing at church. we had a tournament this same weekend in canada. i figured there was nothing i could do here so i went to canada with my quiz team. my uncle (dads brother) came along in case dad dies while we're in canada. so, i had a good time in canada, but was a little distracted. to say the least. there was this one time that our quiz coach was called out in the middle of a quiz and we were all freaking out... then she came back to tell us her daughter wasn't feeling well. what a stinker. anyway, we got through the weekend. had a good time. on the way home the van broke down in flint, michigan... it was sunday night at like midnight. my uncle had to get back for work on monday so my friend and i rode with him. my dad died the next morning.

i felt like i did a pretty good job grieving through all of this... while i missed my dad i chose to accept that he was in a better place. i did try to fill that father hole with other people... good relationships. got close to my mom. got close to my brother.

senior year~went camping with some close friends.... my friend bekah told me i was like the israelite children and was looking for a dad... God continued providing father figures for me... but what i didn't get until then was the God wanted to fill that hole. and i finally got that. that is one of those moments that i will NEVER forget. one of those defining moments in my faith, and for who i am.

throughout my youth i sought God, served God, served people, loved people...

graduated high school in 1998. had some really close friends. very relational. but... pretty legalistic.

oh yeah... i failed to mention that i didn't have a lot of emotions growing up either because of the traumatic head injury that i had when hit by the car...

anywho... went to bethel in 98. good times.

went to ywam (youth with a mission) in 2000. hated it for about 3 weeks. couldn't stand being away from family and friends. i had these great friends at the time... i had just begun forming a relationship with them in the years before that... (the lengachers) anyway, jamie prayed that i would be stretched... that my heart would stretch... dude, let me tell you. i was done stretching by the end of the 18 hour car ride... but jamie (and many others i'm sure) wasn't done praying... so i continued being stretched. it was really good for me. God is good. i'm not interested in sharing specifics here, but yeah... God is good. i learned a lot. funny thing about it too. i had never watched r rated movies before ywam. you see... i was legalistic. ywam helped me break out of that mold. not completely, but it was a start. i began watching movies not for their rating.. but just because. anyway. yeah.

came back and finished college. got a boyfriend... (who now is my best friend, confidante, lover) actually got the boyfriend my senior year... my grades showed it too:) i still graduated though. got a job at family and childrens center working with at risk 9-13 year olds. love that age.... love, love, love it. quit there. went to work at bashor where i could share my faith. that was cool. built some really really good relationships there. a lot of down times.... but even more up times. worked with 9-18 year old kiddos there. a few weeks ago... God released me... and my husband from me working. as a matter of fact... God said. STOP working. Stay HOME with your boy. Raise him up in the way he should go. and, here i am ... blogging :)