smiling out loud

what does heaven smell like...

2011-10-18T20:32:00.000-04:00

I don't do this often, but my friend Sarah wrote something that was SO inspired that I want to share it here. Not only do I want to send you to her page, but I put the blog on here. Please read. It's some good stuff... (bold and italics added)

Peter and I got married while I was still in College. He had graduated from Seminary and I had a few years left, so he found a job at a little Presbyterian Church down a winding road twenty minutes from Asbury. Those people became some of our dearest friends and to this day, when we are feeling discouraged or disoriented in our lives, we seek out those friends who have loved us and encouraged us and cheered for us relentlessly.This morning I was thinking of a dear lady, Sally, who went to be with Jesus earlier this year. Let me tell you about Sally. She was spunky. She was a little thing . . . so little that her husband, Whitney, built her a little stool so she could sit in the pew at church and rest her feet on something. She was a teacher to her core-- it didn't matter that she hadn't officially taught for years-- she was always teaching. If you've heard Peter preach, you'll notice he doesn't end his sentences in a preposition. That's because Sally took him aside one Sunday after he preached and taught him the proper grammar his Preaching Professors had overlooked.Most of all, Sally loved Jesus.
One summer, Crawford (a little boy then, now a college freshman!) came up to Peter and asked him a question. "Mr. Peter," he said, "What does Heaven smell like?"

"The Smell of Heaven."

I love my husband so much, because he took that question seriously. He didn't laugh it off as some childish inquiry. He researched it and sat Crawford down and really talked to him about it. For some reason, that question has always stuck in my head.

Have you ever thought about what Heaven smells like?

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?" 2 Corinthians 2:15-16
Sally once told me the story of a lady she went to visit weekly. The lady wasn't too keen on Sally coming to visit her, but Sally was part of a group of people in her "Winter Church" in Florida that would go out to care for those who couldn't get out on their own. The lady would hardly talk to Sally and was very bitter and hardened by life. Week after week, Sally would go to her house and sit with her, but it didn't seem to be doing any good.

And then, one week, Sally bought some lotion. She went to her woman's house and asked her, "Would you mind if I rub some of this lotion into your hands?" The lady nodded, and so Sally proceeded to rub her gnarled hand with her lotion. Each week, she'd ask the same question, "Would you mind if I rub some lotion into your hands?" and each week she'd gently work the lotion into those hands. Slowly, the woman became a friend to Sally.

Sally was the aroma of Christ. She was the fragrance of life.

Don't we need that fragrance in our lives!? If I'm going to heal from this grief, I have to have others surrounding me, rubbing the healing balm of Jesus into my soul. I need encouragement and prayers and simple reminders that I'm not alone.

But it can't stop there. Because if I'm going to heal, I also need to be that fragrance to others. Reaching out to the downtrodden and tired, weak and weary. This grace I've received is not only for me to take and hoard-- it is a gift to be shared.

So what does Heaven smell like?

I think it smells like us-- you and I-- doing this walk of life together.
It's the hurt caring for the hurt.
It's the obedience in answering the small whispers from Jesus.
It's giving when I feel like I have nothing to give.
It's pushing away the pride and allowing others to encourage my heart.

It smells like lotion from the hands of one to the hands of another.
It smells like Grace.

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?" 2 Corinthians 2:15-16

for everyone

2011-09-11T14:37:00.000-04:00

Jesus came for everyone.

One scripture that has been going through my mind lately....

Jesus said: “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light”. Matthew 11:28-29.

Jesus didn't say that he would give SOME people rest. He didn't say he would give only those that deserve it rest. Shoot... Jesus, didn't come to heal the healthy.... he came to heal the sick. He said, "I will give you rest." That's anyone!

In trying to glorify God I want to be like him. his yoke is easy, and his load is light. I pray that every morning.... that he will give me his rest; I pray that he will remind me throughout the day that HE has already taken my burdens. I love him.

I serve a mighty God. I reach out to people because of my joy in Christ. I pray for people often. I love people out of my love from Christ... he has enabled me! And, he has enabled you!

Galations 5:1 says, "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."

Steven Curtis Chapman - Do Everything (Lyrics)

2011-09-04T22:41:00.001-04:00

Story of my life.

It's where I'm at. 100%.

I AM THE GOD THAT HEALETH THEE - Don Moen (With Lyrics)

2011-09-04T22:19:00.001-04:00

Praying for a friend tonight and thought of this song. It's super old, but I believe, super annointed.

And, it was around the same time that I saw this picture in my email...

And, I thought... Do I allow God to heal the wounds in my own life as easily as my son allowed his grammy to heal the wounds in his teddy bear? Well, he was a bit resistant... he never did end up letting her fix his teddies ear. So, maybe we are a lot like my son. As I look at this picture I remind myself to let go and let God... he is our Healer! and he is Good!

NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU (with lyrics) - GEORGE BENSON

2011-08-31T14:55:00.000-04:00

for my husband... love him so much :)

God

2011-08-26T22:39:00.001-04:00

know Him.

love Him.

accept Him.

listen to Him.

live Him.

That's my goal.

on my mind

2011-08-18T14:01:00.001-04:00

"for God did not send his son into the world to condemn them, but to save them through Him." john 3:17

Big Lives: 2+ years

2011-08-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Big Lives: 2+ years: "This whole hearing loss issue with Mags has sent me for a loop in many ways. I am not sure why - I mean - it isn't cancer.

I think tha..."

dirty hands

2011-08-15T23:19:00.002-04:00

http://youthguyerik.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/evangelists-with-dirty-hands/

2011-08-15T00:32:00.002-04:00

please read

2011-08-12T17:10:00.001-04:00

i may give up on this entire blog thing myself.... as in.... i might quit writing... not sure yet. just letting you know what i'm thinking. what i will use this blog for is to redirect anyone that cares to know me more to sites or articles that greatly influence my thinking.... so, this next redirection is to another persons blog that i found stated pretty much exactly what i think needs to be said right about now from me.... so, if you are interested in knowing more about where i'm at check it out...

http://www.geoffcocanower.com/ it's the blog on running the race.

an insatiable love

2011-08-08T16:41:00.000-04:00

that's a pretty good description of my love for Jesus. it can't be put out. it doesn't dim over time. i love him. a lot. insatiably. i am thankful for resources that He has put in my life such as devotionals from Biblegateway that come just when i need them to.

in the last 24 hours i've been praying. a lot. and, i was SO happy and blessed to get the following email today. it helped me come to peace with some things. i do love Jesus. check this out...

The Prayer that Changed My Life
Wendy Pope

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)

Twenty-two thousand women sat on the edge of their seats as the teacher standing center stage asked, "Do you want to have an insatiable love for Jesus?" Her words hung in the air. Then she answered, "Pray to. If you want an insatiable love for Jesus, then pray to."

Scrambling to find my pen and struggling to spell the word insatiable, I wrote these simple yet powerful words in my conference notebook. The words stung my heart. As they fell from her lips, I knew this was a love for Jesus I did not have.

What I did have was church membership, a lot of church service, and some love. While Jesus was my Savior, something was missing.

I realized I had asked Jesus to be my Savior but not allowed Him to be my Lord. I loved Him for what He did but not for who He was. At age 34, I wanted to cry out this "pray to" prayer. But I wondered, "What must God think of me?"

Service to Him had been my life. Dedication to my church was paramount. But love? How could I not really love Jesus? Certainly He would be disinclined to hear such an elementary prayer from a grown woman who'd been a Christian much of her life.

My thoughts were misguided. It was a prayer God wanted to answer immeasurably more than I could think or imagine. He wanted me to have an insatiable love for Him!

The speaker's challenge that day became a lifestyle of prayer for me. Over time the emptiness in my heart was filled with a love for Jesus I had never known. My heart not only praised Him for what He had done in my life, but now loved Him for who He was: my Lord.

My obedience and service started to flow from a heart of love instead of duty. Lies that once shaped my life and negative feelings about myself where shattered by the honesty and power of His Word. The security of knowing Him as Lord gave me what I had been looking for my whole life. I found freedom in knowing who I am and courage to live like it's true.

The promise and power of today's key verse proved faithful in my life, changing me forever. Today, I want to challenge and invite you the same. Do you want to love Jesus with an insatiable love?

If you want to, then pray to.

Humble yourself before the Lord and ask Him to help you love Him. He will give you immeasurably more than you can imagine. Over time the emptiness in your heart will be filled with a love for Jesus you have never known. Your heart will praise Him for what He has done and for who He is-your Lord. If you want to, pray to.

Dear Lord, I want to love You with an insatiable love. Answer my prayer immeasurably more than I can think of or imagine. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

I don't know if anyone that reads my blog needed to hear something like this today, but it was so powerful in my life i thought i'd share it.

Be blessed!

Melis

2011-07-26T13:30:00.000-04:00

Good quote from Howard Schultz's new book "Onward"

me

2011-07-18T09:45:00.001-04:00

you may have noticed it too. someone pointed it out last night. i have this desire to study together. and, when it doesn't work i just quit. well, i don't really quit. i just move on to things that work better for me. i have been gifted with faith and encouragement. i have a huge amount of belief in God and the things that He is doing, and it comes so easy for me. i don't say that to brag, but to just let you know where i'm at. and, i love giving encouragement. that also comes easier for me because of my strong faith. back to my original point. i like to study together. but, it's not easy for me to stay in one spot (in scripture) if i'm not doing it with someone. if i'm just doing my relationship with God on my own there is so much encouragement in scripture and through people and things that i just have to move around... and, i don't usually finish the "study" if i'm doing it on my own. it works better for me to go where i get the encouragement from.

*hilarious* conversation i just had with mazerick :)

he keeps falling on me as i'm sitting here on the couch and i said, "i don't know what i'm going to do with you." and he says while laughing.... "what? gonna put me in the garage sale?" i laughed. and he was like, "you know you don't want to get rid of me." and i said of course not. mind you the whole time we're laughing. i was like, "where'd you get that from?" and he was like all giggly and said "just got the idea." ha! what a kid :)

the main intent of this post was to let everyone (all 2 of you) that read this that the phillipians study didn't last. i actually have been on another blog following their study of phillipians :) bibledude.com or something like that. and, i've been jumping all over the place when it comes to reading the bible and hearing fromm God cause well... that's the way i roll :)

blessings!

Jesus Paid It All - Kristian Stanfill

2011-07-14T08:49:00.000-04:00

wowsers

2011-06-27T10:04:00.002-04:00

^{philippians 2}

¹ Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus

And this is just the beginning! This is what I'm dwelling on right now! You?

lets study together

2011-06-26T12:55:00.000-04:00

i would love to do an intensive study of philippians. i would love to do it with people.... get others perceptions and thoughts. i am going to start with chapter 1. i will paste below both the mguiessage and the new international version. if you could read them over and put some thought into that would be awesome. then we can have a discussion with out thoughts in the comment section. It would be awesome if you'd participate in this study with me!

"Lord, guide us! Teach us new things and remind us of things we already know of.... I love you!"

Philippians 1

The Message (MSG)

Philippians 1

^1-2Paul and Timothy, both of us committed servants of Christ Jesus, write this letter to all the followers of Jesus in Philippi, pastors and ministers included. We greet you with the grace and peace that comes from God our Father and our Master, Jesus Christ.

A Love That Will Grow

^3-6Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

^7-8It's not at all fanciful for me to think this way about you. My prayers and hopes have deep roots in reality. You have, after all, stuck with me all the way from the time I was thrown in jail, put on trial, and came out of it in one piece. All along you have experienced with me the most generous help from God. He knows how much I love and miss you these days. Sometimes I think I feel as strongly about you as Christ does!

^9-11So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

They Can't Imprison the Message

^12-14I want to report to you, friends, that my imprisonment here has had the opposite of its intended effect. Instead of being squelched, the Message has actually prospered. All the soldiers here, and everyone else, too, found out that I'm in jail because of this Messiah. That piqued their curiosity, and now they've learned all about him. Not only that, but most of the followers of Jesus here have become far more sure of themselves in the faith than ever, speaking out fearlessly about God, about the Messiah.

^15-17It's true that some here preach Christ because with me out of the way, they think they'll step right into the spotlight. But the others do it with the best heart in the world. One group is motivated by pure love, knowing that I am here defending the Message, wanting to help. The others, now that I'm out of the picture, are merely greedy, hoping to get something out of it for themselves. Their motives are bad. They see me as their competition, and so the worse it goes for me, the better—they think—for them.

^18-21So how am I to respond? I've decided that I really don't care about their motives, whether mixed, bad, or indifferent. Every time one of them opens his mouth, Christ is proclaimed, so I just cheer them on!

And I'm going to keep that celebration going because I know how it's going to turn out. Through your faithful prayers and the generous response of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, everything he wants to do in and through me will be done. I can hardly wait to continue on my course. I don't expect to be embarrassed in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn't shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I'm Christ's messenger; dead, I'm his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can't lose.

^22-26As long as I'm alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. If I had to choose right now, I hardly know which I'd choose. Hard choice! The desire to break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. Some days I can think of nothing better. But most days, because of what you are going through, I am sure that it's better for me to stick it out here. So I plan to be around awhile, companion to you as your growth and joy in this life of trusting God continues. You can start looking forward to a great reunion when I come visit you again. We'll be praising Christ, enjoying each other.

^27-30Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ. Let nothing in your conduct hang on whether I come or not. Your conduct must be the same whether I show up to see things for myself or hear of it from a distance. Stand united, singular in vision, contending for people's trust in the Message, the good news, not flinching or dodging in the slightest before the opposition. Your courage and unity will show them what they're up against: defeat for them, victory for you—and both because of God. There's far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There's also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting. You're involved in the same kind of struggle you saw me go through, on which you are now getting an updated report in this letter.

Philippians 1

New International Version (NIV)

Philippians 1

¹ Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus,

To all God’s holy people in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons^[a]:

² Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thanksgiving and Prayer

³ I thank my God every time I remember you. ⁴ In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ⁵ because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, ⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

⁷ It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. ⁸ God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

⁹ And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰ so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Paul’s Chains Advance the Gospel

¹² Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters,^[b] that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. ¹³ As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard^[c] and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. ¹⁴ And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.

¹⁵ It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶ The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸ But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, ¹⁹ for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.^[d] ²⁰ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²²If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴ but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. ²⁵ Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, ²⁶ so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.

Life Worthy of the Gospel

²⁷ Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit,^[e] striving together as one for the faith of the gospel ²⁸ without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. ²⁹ For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, ³⁰ since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.

getting ready o open the youth center

2011-06-23T08:34:00.000-04:00

on following God

2011-06-19T02:37:00.000-04:00

so, has God ever shown you something that was super crazy? like, given you a very specific calling that you just thought was absurd? yeah. me too. so, did you heed his advice and go with it? or, did you go with your own plans? i've done both. actually i'm in the middle of some insane stuff that God has called me to do and it's HARD. i am not sure, but i guess i thought being in the center of God's will would be easier. i have heard from God. i am following Him.... but here i am. there are a few things that i KNOW that i KNOW that i KNOW God told me to do.

Marry Michael Hullinger (he's the coolest)
Allow Michael to Lead... (follow him)
Quit your job (over a year ago now... and that was HARD!)
Open a Youth Center in Bremen (what?! I'm not qualified to do that! i've got nothing)

well, i listened and obeyed. and, i wish i could say it's all been easy. i wish i could say it's all been smooth. i love my life and wouldn't wish for another, but man is it hard sometimes. i absolutely am ecstatic that i do get to be married to my best friend. that's pretty awesome. following him is kinda hard sometimes... just saying. but, i know without a shadow of a doubt that God put me in this position and he put Michael in his position of authority to fulfill his purposes in our lives :) quitting my job? now that was crazy? why the heck would i do that? it was good money. but, they did treat me like crap, so.... it happened. i can't imagine what the last year and half would have been like had i stayed. it's been the most joyous year and half of my life... being a stay at home mom... watching my kiddo so closely... it's been awesome. i'm blessed. open a youth center... okay. i can do that. sounds like a good time. actually it quickly became something i was extremely passionate about. i never thought i would go through everything i did in the process... but, it's the way it is. very soon i will have an official grand opening.... 'The Den" will be run out of my garage. sounds strange, but it's simple. pool table, air hockey table, carpet ball table, big screen tv, video games... fun times. there is now a place in bremen for teenagers to just be. no expectations. acceptance. yep. God is good. although i don't always understand what he has for me to do i know that if i trust and obey the center of his will is the best place to be.

why i do what i do....

2011-06-18T12:22:00.001-04:00

Colossians 3:12

The Message (MSG)

^12-14So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

I'm a Christian. I'm Sorry.

2011-06-13T12:25:00.002-04:00

The above video is not about being sorry for being a Christian as some may think. It is about being a Christian and being sorry for the stupid things that we do... I very much agree, and he says it so well.

Yet again, there are some things that we, as Christians, should stand up for... but we must must must do them out of love! Here's the poem in written form in case you may have missed some of it, or just would rather read it then watch it. (the above version is edited i believe)

I am a Christian. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the way that I come across
So fair and faith friendly and full of myself
Judging your spiritual health by
the words that you say
And the way that you dress, and the things that you do
Or maybe just judging you.
I’m sorry for the way that I live my life
So confident of my own beliefs that
I would never even think to think about thinking about yours
I’m sorry for the wars.
Ivory clad Crusaders mounting steeds and drawing swords
With such a spirit that if The Spirit spoke they wouldn’t hear
But you see the sword of the spirit was not a sword but the Word
And the Word was with God and the Word was God
And they preached this as they marched on the Holy Land
Singing and Praying and Killing and Slaying
And purging and healing and raping and stealing
It’s ironic that they lined their pockets in the name of God
Just like the priests who line their pockets in the name of God
Just like the people that you can’t stand, because they always raise their hand
And spread their faith and hate and judgment in the name of God
I’m sorry that I take God’s name in vain
Or rather I’m sorry that I stain the name of God
Defending my selfish actions as selfless actions pertaining to the will of God
I’m sorry for being intolerant
For trying to talk down to you
For trying to talk over you
For not letting you talk
I’m sorry for not walking the walk
For being a hypocritical critical Christian
Criticizing your pagan lifestyle while my lifestyle styles itself
Just like the televangelist’s hair
All slick and sly and slippery
As the silver syllables slide their way into your ear
But see that’s my greatest fear
That the steps I take won’t match the words I speak
So that when I speak all you hear of me
is a weak hypocritical critical Christian
Doing one thing, but saying another
Loving my friend, but hating my brother
It’s a show.
I’m sorry I get drunk on Saturdays
and go to church on Sundays to pray
for my friends who get drunk on Saturdays
And on that note,
I’m sorry for making the church about the pews and the cross
And the walls and the steeple
Because see, the building is not the church
The church is the people
I’m sorry that I hate you because you are gay
I’m sorry I condemn you to hell because you are gay
Instead of loving I jump to hatred
Mouth open and tongue preaching
Eyes open but not seeing that you are the same as me
Just a f*@!* human being
I’m sorry that I only hang out with Christian friends
And we do nice Christian things
Like pot luck dinners and board game nights
While in the night a man beats his girlfriend again
Another homeless man died again
Is this the way that my own crowd has been?
But here I am with the same friends again
But see what I always forget is that Jesus didn’t come
to hang out with the priests and the lords.
No, He hung out with cripples and beggars and whores
Love
I’m sorry for history
For native tribes wiped out in the name of the church
Lodges burning Stomachs churning and yearning for justice
And mothers screaming and pleading
Pleading for the young ones
As they are dragged away to church schools
Where they were abused
I’m sorry for the way that I refused to learn your culture
Instead I just came to spread the Gospel
And the plague
I’m sorry that I stand at the front doors of abortion clinics
Screaming at fifteen year old girls as they enter
Instead of waiting at the back door to hug them as they leave
I’m sorry for taking my wars and my faith to your lands
When historically it was on your lands that my faith was born
And in the face of the storm, I realize that
If God is Love and Love is God
Then why are we shooting instead of sharing?
Why are we launching instead of learning?
Why are we warring instead of walking together?
Why are we taking instead of talking together?
Why are we bombing instead of breaking bread together as brothers?
You see, I think that God looks down and He’s sad
And from His right hand throne above
Jesus asks where is the Love?
And if it takes Wil-I-Am and Justin Timberlake
Asking that same question for us
To start asking that same question
Then where the f@%# are we headed?
So I will take this stage to be my chapel
And this mic my confession booth
And in the presence of God, the few, the proud,
and the blessed I confess, that
I am a Christian. I’m sorry.

- A poem by Chris Tse

oh so awesome

2011-06-12T10:43:00.000-04:00

I am the luckiest girl alive! The above is a picture of my best friend, Michael. Today is his birthday, and I'm praying he will be blessed! He has surely blessed me, and I am excited to get to spend the day with him..... and most every day for the rest of our lives :) Michael is awesome. And, I am lucky! I'm not much in a writing mood this morning, (sorry honey!) but I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that I love my Michael! (because I'm sure you doubted it before :) )

part of it

2011-06-09T23:23:00.000-04:00

so, i've had this vision for a long time... a vision to start a youth center in bremen. it's had its ups and downs. parts of it have been difficult. there have been times that things have felt like they were falling right into place.... only to crash again. after much prayer and consideration... i looked at my options... my resources. my calling has not changed, but fulfilling it has changed a bit. i have decided to open the youth center out of my garage. it's a small start, but it's what God has given me, and i know He is working. i'm in a lot of prayer about it... all the time. and, i continue to remember.... "God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called." And, the biggest thing I've been thinking lately....

"This is not about perfection.... if you expect perfection when coming to the youth center, you won't get it. You'll get a good time, and people that care about you. A lot."

Come Awake!

2011-06-06T20:58:00.001-04:00

So, I've had this song stuck in my head all day. I don't know if I have heard it recently or what, but I just couldn't get it out of my head. So, like all normal people.... I youtubed it :) And, I watched this video... and it was very moving. Check it out.

todays quote

2011-06-03T12:27:00.000-04:00

todays quote is by louis giglio...

"continuing to beat ourselves up over our failures does not honor Christ, who has already been beaten up for them.."

what a good thought!

no matter what my life circumstances here and now i strive to forget what is behind me and i will "press on toward the goal for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (phil, 3:14)

The end. For now :)

JS - You Are My Strength - Hillsong (cover)

2011-05-27T15:55:00.000-04:00

2011-05-25T00:21:00.002-04:00

"The real problem of the Christian life... comes the very moment you wake up each morning.

All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals.

And your first job each morning consists in shoving them all back;

in listening to that other voice,
taking that other point of view,
letting that larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in."

C.S. Lewis

blessed are...

2011-05-21T21:08:00.000-04:00

Matthew 5

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

The Greek word for ‘Blessed’ is ‘Makarioi’ which means ‘happy, supremely blessed, and fortunate’.

First Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit..” What does that mean, and how can we be poor in spirit? Is it something we just are, or is it something we attain to be?

The word for ‘poor’ in Greek (‘Ptochos‘) literally means having nothing, reduced to begging, like a beggar, totally broke.

‘Spiritual poor’ is exactly what it sounds like. It is a state when you realize that you have nothing and need constant help.

The opposite of ‘Poor in Spirit’ is ‘proud in spirit’. So, if we want to be poor in spirit, we must not have a spirit of pride. This may be an easier way to view things as pride is something that is easy to pinpoint. It’s easy to know when we are being prideful. The tricky part is that we can have a false humility which is also pride. What I mean by that is that we can downgrade ourselves or have what would seemingly be a really sucky self esteem, and that is a form of pride. It’s like saying, “God, you didn’t make me good enough.” We don’t want to do that either. It’s definitely a balance.

Also, lets look at the kingdom of heaven because I know there has been a lot of controversy regarding this subject as well lately… thanks to Rob Bell.

Kingdom of God (Heaven) is twofold:

Already Here: Luke 17:20-21: “Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is within you.”

Yet to Come: Kingdom of Heaven will be fully realized and established when Christ will come as a King and Ruler over all earth. (Daniel 7: 13,14,27)

What a hope and promise, Jesus offers to those who are poor in the spirit. “Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.”

So… yay! I will strive to be poor in spirit so that I will inherit the Kingdom of Heaven-both here and later when it is fully established. That means, I will remember and live every day with Christ because I know that on my own I just can’t get it right.

Love ya Jesus!

this ones for the hubz...

2011-05-16T23:04:00.000-04:00

anyone can watch it, but it's specifically for my wonderful hubs :) it's amazing... and so so true :) take a few minutes... click on the link... watch it....

Mississippi John Hurt I'm satisfied

2011-05-12T14:27:00.000-04:00

how

2011-05-12T14:15:00.000-04:00

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. (Desiring God)

So, how do we become satisfied in Him?

Seek Him. Speak to Him. Listen.

Pour your heart out. Allow Him to love you. It may be through others, or it may be through His word. He will give you strength.

He will give me strength :) I will be satisfied in him :)

and, if you're up for something a little more up my alley :)

2011-05-06T23:48:00.001-04:00

i know, i know....

2011-05-06T23:01:00.000-04:00

some people get really frustrated with the rob bell controversy.... if you fall in this category, feel free to stop reading here. but, it's something that i'm revisiting. it's something that keeps coming up in conversations. i have wanted to stop giving it any credence, but it is what it is... we may as well allow it to grow us. i really, really, really get frustrated with everyone attacking so much. sure, i don't agree with everything that rob bell is teaching. but, i still love the guy. he's still given me a lot to think about, and he's most definitely opened up some interesting discussion between believers and nonbelievers alike. I do agree that we shouldn't judge something before reading the book that is being judged. I'm simply stating these opinions based upon conversations that I've seen or read, and the effects that they are having on me.

I read an article by Eugene Peterson (author of "the Message) that I really agreed with... I especially enjoyed reading the discussions that followed... I encourage you to read it.

I also saw an interview with Bell himself that I really appreciate... You can see it here. It is an hour interview, but it was a good one.

All this to say a few things... false prophets are not cool. But, I won't put Bell in that category. Sure, it sucks that he's bringing all this into this light (or does it?). All I'm saying is, let's not allow our own naivities frustrate us to the point of attacks. Or, lets not allow our own pride push us to attack. Just saying.

Oh yeah, if I didn't mention it before... I DO NOT AGREE with 100% of what Bell is pushing, but I do still respect him and appreciate him.

things i love

2011-05-03T23:47:00.000-04:00

.my husband

.my son

.people

.opportunities

.serving

.kids

.teenagers

.my couch

.my laptop

.dominion

.my friends

.roller derby

.good movies

.social networking

.dominion

.writing

.reading

.influencing

.Jesus

.the internet

.tennis

.taco bell

.home cooked meals (with someone else to clean them up)

.games

.sleep

those are just a few :) there are too many to make an extensive list :)

what God says

2011-04-19T23:17:00.000-04:00

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies.

So true. Funny thing. I want to be loving, and I read this passage to know better how I can be loving. And, I've expressed that my mind wanders. It's true. Well, here's where it wandered to tonight after I read this passage on "how I can be more loving".... I thought, hmmmm... interesting, nowhere in that passage does it say, "LOVE WINS." I just found that funny :)

Okay, well.... here's where I'm at with the whole LOVE issue...

I will NOT give up!

I will care for others more than myself... no matter how many times I hear, see, or read that I must love myself first!

I will not want what I do not have! (yikes, that's a tough one)

I will not strut!

I will not let my head get swollen with pride!

I won't force myself on others!

I won't be, "me first!"

I won't fly off the handle!

I won't keep score of your sins!

I won't get excited when you mess up! (that's kind of hard for me too)

I will take pleasure when I hear truth!

I will put up with anything! (really, anything, God?) ANYTHING!

I will always trust God!

I will always look for the best!

I will not look back!

I will keep going to the end!

I will not die! (well, I will... but my legacy of love won't)

And that, my friends... is where I'm at...or at least striving to be at :)

voids

2011-04-06T21:12:00.000-04:00

Most of us have a void in our life. I know that I do. I'm not sure what the void is, but I know it's there. I am in general a pretty happy person. It's my personality to want to be on the go, doing something productive, or at least entertaining, all of the time. As I was laying here at 9:00 on a Wednesday evening I was thinking to myself, "Why am I just laying here? Isn't there something I could be doing?" I know, for some people they would think, "man... it's time to sleep." But, in my world sleep is not needed right now. It's just not. Today was productive, and here's where I see a void in my life. I got up, hung out with a really good friend that I haven't seen in a long time, and let my kiddo play to his hearts content at Bremen Bounce while I chatted with this old friend. Then I took my son to see grandma great who lives in the nursing home. We enjoy stopping in just to say hi and take her on a walk. I walked into her room, and she was sitting with her back to us, looking out the window. I whistled upon entrance because that is a fairly regular greeting in our family... I said, "hey grandma. how are you?" She said, "Mean." I walked around so she could see who was there and asked her again. Again, she replied, "Mean." Then I prompted my son to come all the way in and give grandma a hug. He did, and her entire countenance changed. She went from "mean" to "thrilled." Anyway, we proceeded to go on a walk, because that is Maz's favorite thing to do when we visit her. We dropped her off in the dining room and left to go meet snuggles grandma for lunch. We had a grand time at lunch and then Maz went home with grandma for 2 days. I decide I need to take advantage of the time that I have when he is not with me and drive to the movie theatre. I watched a good movie, talked to a good friend in California, and came home. We had people over to play a game tonight, and it was fun. And, then I come in to lie down and am trying to find something to do. Something to fill this void. But, really... why must I fill a void? What is the void? Why can't I just relax and be content that my day was good? It was good, and I've been feeling pretty good this last week (mentally and emotionally that is.. physically, not so much, but what do ya do?) So, I decided to blog.... after googling, "filling a void" and browsed a bit. I found it interesting that blogging in itself is filling a void.... at least that was someone elses opinion.

I want to be so full of Jesus that I don't feel any void at all. Is that possible? Or will there always be something? Any thoughts?

dear husband

2011-03-28T16:33:00.001-04:00

i love you, and i want everyone to know it. i will shout it from the roof tops! I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!

he is a great husband. he provides for mazerick and i by going to work even when he doesn't want to. (he doesn't want to go because he wants to spend all of his time loving his wife and kiddo) he loves me by going places with me even when he doesn't feel like it. you see, he is always pretty content to just say home and relax, but i need to be around people more. so, there are a lot of times that he will go out with me just so that i can be around other people. it's cool that he does that.

we have a lot of fun by playing cards together. a new thing for us is to play a game online together. it's called dominion. it's a card game that we play together. it may sound ridiculous to some, but it's a great time. we can be laying in bed together, (both with our laptops), playing the card game, listening to music, and just enjoying being in each others presence.

my husband... he's one heck of a guy. i love him.

lighten up

2011-03-24T16:59:00.001-04:00

i feel like my mood has been a bit too contemplative lately. so, i thought this would lighten things up.
toy story meets inception.... thoughts?

love really does win

2011-03-23T09:34:00.000-04:00

*watch out... for those of you that want nothing to do with rob bells love wins... quit reading here.

for those of you interested in what's been going on surrounding the topic, continue reading. i have not read "love wins" yet, but i intend to do so. i have always intended to, as i am a fan of rob bell and his teachings in general. that's not to say everything he says is 100% agreeable. if it were, the topic would not be of controversy. i've read many articles, seen many interview clips, and heard many opinions on the latest controversy.

the latest that i read was this.... ryan yazels blog... i went to school with him at bethel. if you are interested in "love wins" or even just the current controversies surrounding it i highly suggest you check out this blog.... and definitely the book.

and really.... when it's all said and done.... love really does win.

and also... leave a comment here! i'd love to hear what your thoughts and opinions are... spark some lively discussion if you will!

Jesus is cool

2011-03-21T22:25:00.000-04:00

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9,10)

...to be continued...

feeling alone

2011-03-16T13:34:00.000-04:00

funny thing. i just realized that today is the beginning of the second week of lent. and, on the first week of lent i was doing the "discipline of celebration." wow, did that backfire. so, maybe after i'm done writing this blog i'll think about getting on to the new discipline. i know. i know. i didn't write in here every day last week like i had intended. i had intended on sharing how "the discipline of celebration" was going daily... giving you my focus verses, etc. well, seeing as i didn't you would think just that. that it didn't really. but let me tell you it didn't stop. i was focused on it. but, i think it bit me in the butt. you see, life is just not easy all of the time. i'm sure you needed me to point that out. the thing is, for me, life really usually is pretty easy. all of the time. but, i began this discipline and it's like right and left things were popping up that were making me really sad inside. or sometimes just frustrated. or hurt. or angry. i think that i really gave satan an opportunity to shine last week. and, i'm here today to say, "Satan, stop it. In the name of Jesus, stop it! You've got no right to be in MY HOUSE... my life. So, get out."

okay, now that I've got that out of the way...

i began blogging today because i'm lonely. i am. i said it. i don't feel "connected". i want to be connected, but i'm just not feeling it. this is in no way intended to bash the people that are in my life daily, it's just that i feel alone... it doesn't matter who is around. it doesn't matter what i'm doing. you see... i've always kind of lived by this philosophy... (without really thinking about it) i saw someone else write it and was like, "right on!" it was, "it doesn't really matter to me who i am. i just want to be a part of something awesome." that's my paraphrase at least.

so, today... that's where i'm at. i'm going to seek something out that i can be a part of. facebook isn't really being a part of something. well it is, but it's not what i'm looking for. i feel like i've lost that a little bit. i've lost being a part of something.

what defines me? i love Jesus... a lot. as a matter of fact, he's my best friend. but, what am i doing with that? i'm working on stuff to create a youth center, but it's overwhelming. i don't feel like i'm making any progress, and honestly, i've pretty much become complacent on all that. i'm a wife, and a stay at home mom. i'm trying to speak into my families life. i'm trying to help my son grow into the young man that God intends for him to be. and the thing is... that all sounds great. well, most of it. the family part at least. and a way i've always kind of lived is, "when you're sad or upset, do something nice for someone else. that will then make you happy." however, this is NOT working for me. so, enough of that. i'm moving on.

so, here it is. my life statement... for now at least,
"it doesn't really matter who i am. i just want to be a part of something awesome."

there ya have it folks. that's me right now. maybe i'll figure out my discipline for the next week to get closer to Jesus, or maybe i won't. maybe i'll just be close to him in the everyday stuff again. it seemed that my have been working for me better anyway.

the discipline of celebrating

2011-03-10T12:55:00.001-05:00

3/10/11

Day 2 of the discipline of Celebration

Celebrating again! Focusing today on this verse.... Ecclesiastes 11:4, "Those who wait for perfect weather will never plant seeds; those who look at every cloud will never harvest crops." This verse is meaningful to me for multiple reasons... First off, in this season of celebration it reminds me to be grateful for perseverance. I can celebrate perseverance because it will ultimately get me somewhere. It seems a little odd... Celebrating perseverance? That's just weird. But, think about it. I can struggle to persevere, or I can celebrate the fact that I'm persevering. So, in this season... I choose to celebrate perseverance. And, despite the clouds, despite the rain.... shoot, despite the snow... I persevere. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which Christ has called me heavanward. (philippians 3) I want to know Christ! I do! And, in getting to know him I will do what he says... I will listen to him, and I will follow. And, I will celebrate!

Father, help me to persevere. Even when times are tough, and I don't see any progress. Help me to persevere. And, not just to persevere, but do so with celebration! I love you Jesus!

MamaMely

A new adventure!

2011-03-09T22:10:00.003-05:00

Lent

7 disciplines for 7 weeks. And, this will be a progressive journey…. A progressive sacrifice if you will. I would like to share the sacrifice with you for a few reasons; 1. Accountability. Life is made to live together, right? 2. Encouragement. There might be something that I say that encourages someone else in their relationship with Christ. Why wouldn’t I want to do that? 3. Fun. I’m looking forward to getting closer to Jesus in this Lenten season. I think it will be fun. And, well… I like to share my fun J Come along for the ride.

Week One 3/9-3/15

In today’s hectic, stressful and violent world, how can we experience the true joy that comes from God? Can we have freedom from anxiety and care, which forms the basis for celebration? Harvey Cox has said that, "..modern man has been pressed so hard toward useful work and rational calculation he has all but forgotten the joy of ecstatic celebration." (taken from Celebration-a small group study at http://www.gci.org/spiritual/discip13)

Celebration… to experience the true joy that comes from God.

3/9/11

On day one of lent I am reminded to be like an ostrich and instead of comparing myself to everyone else focus on what I am blessed with:

Job 39:12-18 says,

“The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,
   though they cannot compare
   with the wings and feathers of the stork.
¹⁴ She lays her eggs on the ground
   and lets them warm in the sand,
¹⁵ unmindful that a foot may crush them,
   that some wild animal may trample them.
¹⁶ She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers;
   she cares not that her labor was in vain,
¹⁷ for God did not endow her with wisdom
   or give her a share of good sense.
¹⁸ Yet when she spreads her feathers to run,
   she laughs at horse and rider.

Lord, Thank you for sacrificing so that I can know you, and eventually live with you forever. I pray that in these next few weeks I will grow closer to you, and remember that you are the reason I have so many blessings. I love you Jesus.

Lovingly Yours,

MamaMely J

response

2011-02-27T22:09:00.002-05:00

Taken from my friend Rachels blog... "If you have seen God's Providence work in your life, will you share it? God wants us to shout it out when He works miracles for us and it helps other people build their faith as well."

Gods providence.... hmmm. I know it's huge in my life. Actually, ironically it is so huge that it is even in little things. Gods Providence guides me... even through the day to day, mundane, sometimes boring, life that I lead. Yet, I am blessed. And, I will shout it out. Can I hear a little "WootWoot"?

I go before the King of the Universe daily.... not just daily, but hourly... You know the verse, "Pray without ceasing." It's not that I really strive for that. It's just that it is. I do it. It is one of those things that is natural for me. It's kind of like breathing to some. I don't mean to come across as arrogant, pious, or a "holier than thou" person. It's just that I've got this amazing relationship with Jesus to where I really do feel that I am in conversation with the maker of the universe all the time. It's crazy when I think about it. The creator of the Universe cares about me. He loves me. He loves that I am in communion with him. He will guide direct me. The creator of the universe, folks. That's one pretty amazing guy. The Savior. The all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving GOD... He loves ME! And, I get to rest in that.

The above question brings to mind the times that I have forgotten that. Those "hard days" when I feel alone, overwhelmed, exhausted, and just weak. Yet, even in those days God is with me. But, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I get so busy thinking, pondering, even praying about what is wrong that I forget who I am praying to. I forget that God REALLY, REALLY does just want me to rest in Him. Fortunately, it doesn't take to long for me to remember, 'Oh yeah. God loves me. I'm here for a reason.'

Thank you Father for loving me. Thank you for letting me rest in you, even when I am weak. Thank you for letting me just be. Thank you.

And thanks Rachel for reminding me that Gods Providence can be a daily part of our lives.

The Velveteen Bible

2011-02-23T16:08:00.000-05:00

This Bible was given to me through a site called BookSneeze. I review the books, and then I get to keep them.

The Velveteen Bible is NKJV. I found it interesting that by the picuture I would have thought it was a story book/bible. I understand it says Holy Bible right on it, but it seemed younger than the actual Bible. I pulled it out of the package and it was in this box(that you see above). Inside of the box is a "velveteen Bible." It's cute. It's got the bunny in velvet along with some velvet accents. My 4 year old son enjoyed feeling the "velvet Bible" :)

We began by openning it up and looking at some of the pictures. They had verses and pictures of animals. I think my son may have gotten the wrong impression by seeing a picture of 3 ducks waddling when I read to him, "whatever you have done to the least of these, you have done unto me." I think he was thinking about doing things to ducks. But, what can I say? He's 4.

I asked him if he wanted to read about that story, and sure enough, he did. So, I flipped to Matthew 25 and read it to him:

Matthew 25:31-46 (New King James Version)

The Son of Man Will Judge the Nations

³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy^[a] angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. ³² All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. ³³ And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. ³⁴ Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: ³⁵ for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; ³⁶ I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You,or thirsty and give You drink? ³⁸ When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? ³⁹ Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ ⁴⁰ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’
⁴¹ “Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: ⁴² for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’
⁴⁴ “Then they also will answer Him,^[b] saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ ⁴⁵ Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ ⁴⁶ And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

I think I would have been a bit confused too, but he rolled with the punches (so to speak), and heard the story. It was a good teaching moment anyway.

If I were looking for a son for my son I would not buy the "Velveteen Bible," but I don't think that's what the producers had in mind anyway. This would be a great Bible for an elementary aged girl.

The Velveteen Bible

2011-02-23T16:01:00.000-05:00

This Bible was given to me through a site called BookSneeze. I review the books, and then I get to keep them.

The Velveteen Bible is NKJV. I found it interesting that by the picuture I would have thought it was a story book/bible. I understand it says Holy Bible right on it, but it seemed younger than the actual Bible. I pulled it out of the package and it was in this box. (that you see above) Inside of the box is a "velveteen Bible." It's cute. It's got the bunny in velvet along with some velvet accents. My 4 year old son enjoyed feeling the "velvet Bible" :)

We began by openning it up and looking at some of the pictures. They had verses and pictures of animals. I think my son may have gotten the wrong impression by seeing a picture of 3 ducks waddling when I read to him, "whatever you have done to the least of these, you have done unto me." I think he was thinking about doing things to ducks. But, what can I say? He's 4.

I asked him if he wanted to read about that story, and sure enough, he did. So, I flipped to Matthew 25 and read it to him:

Matthew 25:31-46 (New King James Version)

The Son of Man Will Judge the Nations

I think I would have been a bit confused too, but he rolled with the punches (so to speak), and heard the story. It was a good teaching moment anyway.

If I were looking for a son for my son I would not buy the "Velveteen Bible," but I don't think that's what the producers had in mind anyway. This would be a great Bible for an elementary aged girl.

CS Lewis said

2011-02-23T08:24:00.002-05:00

"you don't have a soul. you are a soul. you have a body."

Michael W Smith - I Will be here for You (original music vid) HQ

2011-02-22T23:53:00.000-05:00

it's true.... my friends have been, well, picking on me for my taste in music. but, what can i say? i'm a sucker. it's some good stuff :) this one goes out to you, michael hullinger :)

love...

2011-02-22T23:50:00.000-05:00

disclaimer.... this might be sappy...

some of the best songs are now considered cheesy contemporary christian music that we listened to in the "90s" oh no! how dare i bring back something that was amazing then, and lyrically, still is amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN-vgjs__gk&feature=player_detailpage

heavy on my heart

2011-02-19T22:03:00.002-05:00

so lately i've been really focused on the following verses....

philippians 4:4-9
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

especially this...

*whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.*

so, i'm trying to set my mind on true things... noble things... right things... pure things... lovely things... admirable things... excellent or praiseworthy things...

what about you? does this ring a bell? bring anything to mind?

2011-02-19T22:02:00.001-05:00

Life, In Spite of Me

2011-02-19T10:01:00.002-05:00

Wow! I'd heard about this young lady from my mom. I didn't realize she had a book. My mom is a Christian Speaker, and she gets to know a lot of people. She is also writing a book. She told me she had lunch with a girl that had tried to commit suicide by laying in front of a train. I thought, "how in the world would you not die from that?!" I knew that this young lady must be writing a book because my mom met her at a book writers conference.

And, then I saw the book on Multnomahs review page. I was so excited. I'd get to hear the story from Kristen herself!

So, I told Multnomah that I would love to review the book for them. They sent me a free copy (to keep) so that I would write a review for them.

I read the book in 3 settings. I read it until I couldn't stay awake any longer, and picked it up first thing in the morning so I could finish it. It's an excellent read!

I wasn't 3 pages into the book when I was calling my friends and telling them I couldn't wait until I finished it so I could pass it around! This book captures your heart that quickly! We already know the premise for the story, but to hear it from the actual person is amazing. It kept my attention the whole time. It made me laugh. It made me cry. It made me understand the importance of telling people of their worth, TODAY. Don't wait until it's too late. Don't wait until tragedy strikes. Tell others how much they mean to you and God right now. Don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call them.

Thank you Kristen for sharing your story so that peoples lives can be changed. You've changed my life. You've helped me to know that helping is important, even if it's just a phone call or a letter. Thank you!

wordless wednesday

2011-02-16T11:04:00.000-05:00

i'm noticing a lot of people do a wordless wednesday, or a wordless, tuesday, or monday. anyway, i've decided to have my own sort of wordless kind of day.... only it won't be completely wordless. because what's a blog for if not for words, right? anyway, this next picture goes out to my amazing husband michael...
love ya babe!

what deserves your passionate prayer?

2011-02-13T08:27:00.000-05:00

just listened to an excellent sermon...

check it out here if you're interested... it's my friend tara :)

this morning i woke up to mazerick coming to my bedside and saying, "mom, i can't breath."

i have been praying fervently for him ever since. it was about 6 am when he told me. i went and got him some medicine, prayed for him, and he went back to sleep after that. it's 8:18 and he's still sleeping. that's awesome. i will not stop praying though. i am praying for him like crazy.

these are the verses that are urging me to continue doing so.

acts 4:30, 31... stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus. after they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. and they were all filled with the Holy Spiirit and spoke the word boldly. (that's where i want to be.... Lord, i believe, help my unbelief)

luke 22:44 and being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (this is what i'm doing.... praying earnestly)

isaiah 62:1 for zions sake i will not keep silent, for jeruselems sake i will not remain silent, till her vindication shines like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. (right now... i will not remain silet for mazericks healing, until it happens)

i believe this is not just a call for a few of us. i believe this is a call for every believer. take some time right now and think about it. what will God put on your heart? what is it that you will not keep silent for?

live webcast event... feb. 17th at 2 pm

2011-02-10T16:12:00.001-05:00

if you've got the opportunity you won't want to miss this webcast event! i'm going to join them! you will want to as well.

Watch live streaming video from waterbrookmultnomah at livestream.com

good quotes

2011-02-09T23:24:00.000-05:00

*the greatest thing you can do for your kids is pursue your own character...

*God is more important than changing you than changing your circumstance... God loves you so much He doesn't want you to stay where you're at.

*is the desire of your heart for God to do this or do that? or is it, "i want to change?"

*what's more important to you? your comfort or your character?

do you know who said them?

Deadly Ties by Vicki Hinze

2011-02-09T10:26:00.003-05:00

*multnomah sent me this book for free to review. the opinions are solely mine, and i was not paid to review this book.

I love books that draw you in with the first few pages. Unfortunately, this book did not do that. However, once I got into it I literally could NOT put the book down. It was a great read. Very informative in an entertaining way. I love that about books!

I have a few favorite passages. Let me share one,

"you've got this weird notion that you have to earn her love, when love can't be earned. She's got to give it, just like Christ himself's given you redemption by taking on the Cross.
Christ had redeemed him. Logically, he knew it. But, knowing it, and feeling redeemed in your heart were 2 different things. And, try as he might, he hadn't figured out the key to the second one."

Overall this story was awesome.

Thank you Vicki Hinze for writing this book, and thank you multnomah for allowing me a chance to review it!

on love and redemption

2011-02-08T22:21:00.000-05:00

the following is from a book i'm reading, but man... it's something worth dwelling on.

a girl is speaking to a guy about love and redemption...

"you've got this weird notion that you have to earn her love, when love can't be earned. She's got to give it, just like Christ himself's given you redemption by taking on the Cross.
Christ had redeemed him. Logically, he knew it. But, knowing it, and feeling redeemed in your heart were 2 different things. And, try as he might, he hadn't figured out the key to the second one."

i suggest inserting your name wherever it says he. go back and reread it. insert your name where it says he. act like it's directed towards you... i did, and, wow, am i pondering. i'll share more later on it. i'd love to hear what it brings to your mind as well.

why did i get married?

2011-02-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

today is our anniversary. we have been married 8 years today.

my husband is amazing. we met at a bowling alley on feb. 14th, 2002. we were married on feb. 7th, 2003.

the first thing i noticed about him when i met him was his eyes. he has beautiful eyes. and, he's a great hugger. and, he loves Jesus.

my roommate in college came home from work one day and said, "you've got to meet this guy i work with. he's just like you. he loves Jesus. he's happy. and, he loves kids." i was like, "okay." so she said she was going to ask him if he wanted to go on a double date on valentines day.

she came home from work the next day and said, "he says he'll have to pray about it." i was like, "WHAT?!" this is the guy for me. he's praying about it? sweet. turn on number one :) well, she goes to work and comes home again and says, he said it sounds like fun. so, on valentines day i met michael hullinger at chippewa bowling alley and then we went to steak and shake. then we talked in his car for about 3 hours. it was pretty much love at first hangout for me. time went on, and it seemed like there were a lot of periods of waiting on my end, but we did get married less than a year later so really... i must never have waited too long :)

reasons i am in love with michael hullinger.

*he loves Jesus.

*he loves me.

*he loves my son.

*he is funny.

*he is smart.

*he is cute.

*he is witty.

*he is sensitive.

*he has a good memory.

*he is an awesome dad.

*he is an awesome husband.

*he is strong in the Lord.

*he is continually looking for ways in which to be closer to Him.

*he is a leader.

*he loves people.

*he is strong.

*he is awesome with kids.

*he listens to his music with headphones on.

*he is nice to me.

*he listens to music that i will enjoy without headphones on.

*he loves music.

*he lets me go on vacations sometimes... and he stays home to work.

*he provides for me.

*he's a safe driver.

*he picks up after himself.

*he lets me use his things. (i just broke his computer bag while on vacation)

*he's got an awesome tattoo.

*he's got a cute smile. i love it when he smiles.

*he's got a really good heart.

*he likes me more than the tv. (and the tv is pretty awesome)

*he is a good listener.

*he is a good story teller.

*he is an excellent writer.

*he gets me really nice cards.

*he's good at trivia.

i could go on and on. i am more in love with michael hullinger today than i was the day that we met. i love him more than tacos. i love him more than my really comfortable couch. i love him more than my computer. i love him more than life itself. i can't imagine life without him.

thanks God,

for giving me a best friend in my husband, michael.

i love you,

melissa

and thank you michael... for being my best friend. i love you.

influential people

2011-02-03T23:49:00.002-05:00

You know, most of us don't even realize that we are influencing people all of the time. Let me tell you a true story. It's the reason my son has the name Mazerick.

My husband Michael was going to a church when he was 17 or 18. He was talked into counseling at Camp Raybird. Someone convinced him that it was his "christian duty." (not that that's always a bad thing, just made me laugh) Well, he hesitated because in all reality he was not a fan of kids. Actually he wasn't fond of them... at all. Anyway, he did it.... because it was his "christian duty" you know? He counseled at this camp.

The first kid he met from his cabin was a little boy of 8 or 9 (i think) named Mazerick. This little boy was blond and full of life. He was all boy. He loved looking for frogs, picking up sticks, skipping rocks, you name it. Anyway, my Michael had a change of heart this week. He watched Mazerick, and well... God changed his heart. And, it was because of the inluence of a little boy that was just being a little boy...

I don't think that Michael thought about it a ton at the time, but he did end up going into youth ministry. And, it all started when he met that little boy.

When I met Michael he said, "There are 2 things I want out of life. 2 things I live for. I live to be a good husband and father." (He obviously wants God, and I saw that, but I think you get the picture) Anyway, I love that about him. He desires to be a good husband and father. Those are the 2 things that God has put in his heart. And, I can assure you that he is.

About a year ago I was at church (The Vineyard), and I was calling Mazerick out of class. (my Mazerick) A girl off to the side of the room looked at a guy on the side of the room and said, "Did she just call him Mazerick? No way!" Anyway, I walked over to this girl and guy and said to the guy, "Is your name Mazerick?" And, he said, "yeah. I've never known anyone else with my name." We got to talking and I asked him if he had been to this camp that my husband counseled at and had him as a counselor. And, Mazerick said, "yeah." We talked for a bit more.

I left church that Sunday amazed that I had just met the kid that my husband had told me about for years... It actually took years of convincing me to name my own kid that, but now that I know the guy it makes it that much more meaningful to me.

So, remember.... what you do today might influence people you have no clue about. Live a good life.

God is good, isn't he?

inc

stuck on vacation

2011-02-03T12:04:00.000-05:00

sounds great, doesn't it? i'm sure a lot of people would love being stuck on vacation. think about it. there's a snow storm at home. everything has been cancelled because of the bad weather. including your flight to get home. the thing is... my husband and son are at home, and i was supposed to be home yesterday afternoon. i came on vacation not to get away from my husband and son, but to enjoy my friends out here in california. and, honestly, it's beautiful out here. the weather is nice. everything about this vacation has been smooth. so, no real complaints on this end. it's been a great vacation. but really... i was ready to come home to my fam yesterday. well, when i found out that i couldn't make it there because the airport was closed i had to make a choice. i could either wallow in self pity... or pity for my husband and son that don't get to see me... (sounds pretty arrogant) or i could enjoy this warm weather and go see some more sites... unfortunately my friends had to resume life as they know it so i couldn't hang out with them any longer. but, fortunately my mom came on this trip with me, so i am not alone! so, i did it... i went into hollywood yesterday. it was a lot of fun.

i thought of my friends and familly a lot... i found spiderman, and was immediately thinking about my son. so, i took this picture for Mazerick... Spiderman was walking around, and he posed with me!

i saw bigfoot and thought of my friend jeff. so, i took a picture of my hand in his.

i saw samual jackson and thought of my friend byron, and all of my friends and family at church and the good times we have!

and i saw robin williams, and well... i just love robin williiams so i took my picture with him!

and, the last picture that i'm posting on my blog made me think of all of my friends and family that are back home freezing in the SNOWpocolipse... wish i was there with you.... kind of...

glad i get to come home to all the smiling faces in the midwest... i've missed everyone!!!! but, man... this weather is nothing to complain about :)

so, yesterday we missed our plane... but, we got to go into hollywood, california with no agenda. it was relaxing. my plane leaves in a few hours and i'm more than ready to see some smiling faces in the freezing cold.

Blessings everyone!

2011-02-02T08:38:00.001-05:00

reflecting on the Spirit

2011-02-01T01:17:00.002-05:00

i'm in love. it's true. and, i truly believe it wouldn't even be possible without the Spirit.... the Holy Spirit that is. that's right. even my relationship with my husband is based on the Spirit. i wouldn't be where i'm at today if it weren't because of the Spirit.

i hadn't given the Spirit a ton of thought until recently. i mean sure, the Spirit is God. the Spirit is why we have a personal relationship with God. the Spirit is. it just is... but, is it really? is it just a spirit? no. it is not even an it. the Holy Spirit is a person. He is not an impersonal force or thing. the Bible constantly describes the Spirit as a person. matthew 28 talks about how the Spirit is a member of the Godhead, and ephesians 4 talks about how the Spirit is grieved... he has emotions. would an IT have emotions? i think not.

there's a ton more about who the Spirit is, but what i'm really focused on is who the Spirit is IN ME... (at least who he could be in me)

i'm focused today on one specific thing in regards to Him... the Holy Spirit... okay... here i go again. my one thing has turned into a million, but let me lay it all out. let me start from the beginning :)

in mark chapter 13 (i suggest you check it out for yourself as well) there are signs for the end of the age. at least thats the description in the NIV... the message describes it as "doomsday deceivers". a bunch of disciples are asking Jesus... what will the signs be that the end is near? and Jesus gives them a bunch of signs... wars, rumors of wars, a bunch of people claiming to be (or Jesus), nations rising against nations, earthquakes, famines, etc. (my paraphrase) He tells them to be on their guard (or He tells us to be on our guards) He tells us we will be brought before officials and brought to trial. and then He says not to worry about it. it almost seems paradoxical, but the more i think about it the less i think so... because if we put all of our trust in the Spirit then our minds automatically depend on Him to give us exactly what we need... the exact words.... and He promises as much.

now i don't think that means to sit on our butts and do nothing. just expect Jesus to give us the Spirit to save the day. i think that means that we must seek Him. we must KNOW him. we must allow Him to guide us. if He tells us to go, then we must go. if he tells us to sit, then we must sit. if he tells us to do, then we must do. basically, we must know his voice. we must listen to it, and obey. and, well... i'm in. i'm listening. i'm obeying.

in looking at these scriptures (there are many more) i am reminded to continue seeking and listening... and doing whatever it is i am hearing.

"Lord, i know i'm a jerk sometimes, but fill me with your Spirit so that the world will see your work in my life. i love you."

distracted scatterbrain?

2011-01-24T17:19:00.000-05:00

i would definitely think that i fall into this category... i set out to do one thing, and end up doing something completely different. when it comes to digging into the Word, and finding what God has for me, sometimes i feel like i fall into this category. however, i don't thing it applies. just because i jump around in the bible, and read from all over i don't think that's an issue. the issue that i may have is not always remembering what i read. but seriously, do you remember what you read every time? probably not. as a matter of fact, i bet you couldn't tell me what you read on your other friends blog that you read yesterday. how can i remedy that? how can anyone remedy that? well, for me i think it's a matter of writing things down. this was all prompted by something that i read out of james today.

james 1:22-27 says

"Don't fool yourselves into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and 2 minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God-the free life!-even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain, but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation to the action.

Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot are and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world." (the message)

i don't really think i'm a distracted scatterbrain.... at least the kind that is referred to in this passage. i do listen to God and do what he says, but sometimes i do forget. it's human nature. at least it's my human nature. so, i must remind myself regularly of this fact.... i can take things to heart... and do them, but if i don't continually go back to the Word for more... or write them down, it will be kind of worthless because i will have forgotten why i am doing the good that God called me to. so, i encourage you... stay in the Word... continually surround yourself with reasons, things that remind you why you are doing the good.

on a completely unrelated note... to those of you that know of my struggles with my stupid lap top and the cursor moving and randomly erasing things... i took the advice of the wise caleb borke and covered the mousepad up and hooked up an optical mouse and haven't had any further issues :) (other than continually putting my thumb where the mousepad is to move the cursor instead of reaching my arm over to the optical mouse)

best part of my day so far

2011-01-24T11:51:00.003-05:00

so, i thought that finding out that i'm getting a bunch of money back on my taxes was the best part of my day. but then my son came home from school :) i said, can i get a hug and a kiss? and he RAN to me and said, "just because i love you mom." now that was definitely the best part of my day!

Number 2

2011-01-23T08:46:00.003-05:00

mLet me tell you a little bit about a program that I am part of. It's blogging for books by Waterbrook. I pick a book that is on their list (which is a lot of books to choose from) and I blog about it. Then I get to keep the book! Well, being that I love to read, I love this program! I recieved my first book in the mail a few days ago, but I was in the middle of another book so I had to finish that first. Well, it just happened to be another book by the same publishing company so I can review that for them as well. You can review any book by their publishing company. That's why I reviewed the book yesterday. Well, I finished another last night, so I will review it here.

Let me tell you a bit about what I think about book reviews. First of all, I don't even read the back cover of a book because I feel like it gives too much away. So, in my reviews I will tell you some of the good premises of a book (or not so good, depending), but I will never give too much away. Read the book for yourself if it's that good :)

The book I am reviewing today is another book by Rene Gutteridge, Skid. It is also in the Occupational Hazards series. This book took longer for me to get into, but once I was about 50 pages I didn't want to put it down. The ending was especially good.

Gutteridge has a nack for bringing humor into nearly every situation. She's a good writer. Some of the things in her books are farfetched, but it's a book for crying out loud. It's for entertainment purposes. I definitely like how she draws you in though.

I was a bit disappointed in the beginning of the book that there were SO many characters that Gutteridge seemed to be developing. I really wanted to just hear the main characters story, but in the end it all came together. I just wish that it wouldn't have taken so long to get there.

I still give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. It was a good read.

Rate my review at Multnomah here....

My first book review!

2011-01-22T22:09:00.000-05:00

I was so excited to find out that I can blog, read a book, and get the book to keep if I write a review on it. So, here's my first book review of many to come... It's through Multnomah Publishing, and if you love books check it out here...

Scoop by Rene Gutteridge

This is not only my first book review for Multnomah, but the book "Scoop" is also the first in a series of books by Rene Gutteridge in the Occupational Hazards series.

Gutteridge was the author of the book "The Ultimate Gift" which was an excellent movie and the reason that I chose to read more books by her.

Scoop had an excellent story line. I was captivated by the first page. Gutteridge began the story by posting the obits of 2 people, Mom and Dad Hazard.

I not only thoroughly enjoyed the book, but I actually grew spiritually from the book. I love it when that happens, especially when I'm not expecting it.

The Hazards (last name of a family if you haven't figured that f you out yet) are great at mixing faith and every day life. It challenged me to live the same way.

This book specifically targetted a few different "big topics", but I really benefited from the plot that encompassed getting older and worrying about the way we age. Not a only is that a reason to, be anxious, but there are other themes in the book that are coming from an anxiety driven standpoint, which I also found very enlightening to read about.

I would give this book 5 stars, and I suggest it to anyone!

it's where i'm at

2011-01-22T08:24:00.000-05:00

and it's good. 1 corinthians 10: ^19-22Do you see the difference? Sacrifices offered to idols are offered to nothing, for what's the idol but a nothing? Or worse than nothing, a minus, a demon! I don't want you to become part of something that reduces you to less than yourself. And you can't have it both ways, banqueting with the Master one day and slumming with demons the next. Besides, the Master won't put up with it. He wants us—all or nothing. Do you think you can get off with anything less?

^23-24Looking at it one way, you could say, "Anything goes. Because of God's immense generosity and grace, we don't have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster." But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.

so... the part that sticks out sticks out to me is the part that says, "we want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well." yep. that's my life. :)

it's where i'm at... Blessings!

learning

2011-01-21T23:32:00.000-05:00

i went to a class on wednesday night on "forgotton God" by francis chan. it was being taught by a friend of mine, niel deiner... it is an excellent study. i am enjoying it thoroughly. anyway, my blog today is on learning. i am learning a lot of different things. the first thing i want to talk about i was reminded of by a conversation i had with my son on the way into church on wednesday. i said something about him going to his class while i went to a class that niel was teaching. and i said to him... "do you remember niel and stacey?" and he said. "yeah. i met them once. their my mom and dad." i was like... uh, no.... you're daddy and i are your mom and dad and we're the only ones you'll ever have. and maz was adamant... no, mom. niel and stacey are my mom and dad. this discussion went on for a while. it just made me thing, "who's your daddy?" in a spiritual sense. i wasn't thinking earthly dads and moms anymore. i was thinking spiritually. God is our daddy. and, sometimes we forget it. we replace Him with other things or people. we can replace Him with good things and people, but if we're replacing Him at all then well... we've forgotten who our daddy is.

God, help me to never again forget who YOU are.

Last week

2011-01-19T21:07:00.000-05:00

Anxiety…

I’m reading a book by Rene Gutteridge. She’s the one that wrote the story that the movie, “the ultimate gift” was based on. Anyway, the story is irrelevant, but I am learning a ton. There is this character in this book that is awesome. It’s like she really does have it all together, but not because of what she has, what she looks like, or who she is. It’s all because of her identity in Christ. She has said things like, “trusting God won’t definitely make your life easier. But you will know that there is something to hope for.” And, she’s telling an older lady who people are pressuring into botox (namely her bosses at the tv station she works for) that God designed us to age and that beauty is on the inside and allow God to age us as he sees fit. And, most recently she says to her boss, Hugo, while referring to anxiety… “With all due respect, do you know where anxiety comes from?” Hugo paused. Was this a trick question? From not trusting God. We’re all going to be anxious if we think we’re in control of our lives, because we’re contantly making mistakes. Do you know what I mean? We’ve got to trust our Father in heaven to take care of us, even when we mess up. Or when others mess things up for us.”

Anyway, this book is just really speaking to me, and I really wanted to share it J

Another super amazing awesome thing happened today, and it’s about my kid. Yep. There it is. My kid Mazerick. He’s been talking about death lately, and how he doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to go to heaven because in order to go to heaven you have to die. Anyway, tonight I read him the story out of Revelation about the new heaven and new earth… from his kids bible, so it was easy for him to understand. At the end again he was like, “I don’t want to die.” And I explained to him that if he prayed to Jesus and asked Jesus to live with him forever and tried to live for him he didn’t have to worry about dying because even when his body here dies he would come back to life in Heaven and live forever. He was like, “Can I do it right now?” So, we prayed. First he said, “Mom, I want you to do it for me.” And, I said… Mazerick. I can’t do that for you. You have to make that decision. So, he repeated after me.

“Dear Jesus---Dear Jesus…”

“I want you to live with me forever---I want you to live with me forever…”

“I love you---I love you…”

“And I will try to always make you happy---And I will try to always make you happy…”

“Thank you Jesus---Thank you Jesus…”

“Amen---Amen…”

It’s definitely a theologians prayer J It’s the prayer of a little kid. And, I believe, with my whole heart that my little Maz meant it. He giggled and giggled afterwards. He said… “If the streets are gold can we drive cars on them? I wonder if there will be cars in Heaven. I hope there are cars in Heaven, because cars are cool.”

a lot on my mind

2011-01-14T10:37:00.004-05:00

we'll start here at the fork in the road. inspired by my friend faith over at wordpress.

so, faith and her husband faced a decision. you can read about it here.

is it not the truth though that we all face decisions? some of them may not seem as significant as others, but in reality, they are all decisions. and, well... a decision must be made. which road shall we travel?

am i going to be content with the place that God has me or am i going to live in misery wishing i was somewhere else? i'll choose contentment. sometimes it's as simple as a choice. i don't say this to forget striving for what i want. i think in order to be content you must also seek God. and, for me... seeking God means continuing to move forward. continue planning the plans that God has been guiding me in planning... like, a youth center in bremen. it's going to happen. my husband and i will facilitate this event. with Gods lead. it will be good.

*****

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson

the above was brought to mind from another friend over at wordpress.

my thoughts on it are, well... it's true. live it.

****

another thing i've been thinking about as of late is this.... one word.... i've come across numerous times people that are choosing one word to live their lives based around this year. it could be a word that describes who you are, what you want to be, or where you want to go. as i considered this... well actually i wasn't even considering it. i was just drawn to it. and then it happened... i realized i was living it. daily i sought the same thing. i sought to hear God.... and listen... and do.... do what he has told me to do. and with that listen to my heart... what God tells me to do i must take to heart and follow through. and again... do. so, my word is "listen." listen to God. listen to my heart. and listen to others. and in return, do. so, you may see new things this year in my life. i will continue to seek God and go where He tells me to go.

God is good.

today

2011-01-06T11:51:00.003-05:00

what does God want me to do today? i often think about this, but often times it leads me to planning for the future. today i am hanging out with my son.... instilling him the importance of loving each other. loving is sometimes just being there. being in the same room together. chilling. talking when necessary. who was it that said... "preach. use words if necessary." or something like that? charles spurgeon? i'm not sure. anyway, that's kind of what today is for me.... only it's "love. if necessary use words." and a bit later i get to hang out with my husband too... the same will occur :)

while hanging out with my son i've been able to catch up on my surfing.... the net :) and, i came across blogging for books which is really exciting for me. i absolutely love to read! now i will kind of get paid to read :) at least i'll get paid in books. thanks rachel for introducing me :) i'm really excited to get started... wish i could start today, but i'll have to wait for the shipping of my first book.

our morning started with a conversation about jonah... maz told me he was fish food, and wanted to know why. and i told him that it was because God told him to go to ninevah (and explained that it was a town) and he was supposed to love the people there. but he didn't. then he was fish food... and it was because he didn't listen to God. so, it's very important to listen to God. then maz asked me what God wants us to do. so, my immediate response was... "love people." and, well.... that's what we're doing today, and until God gives us further direction :)

another thing God has me doing takes a little more planning... it's this youth center that i've had on my heart for a while. i've almost got the paperwork finished to become federally known as a nonprofit.... which will get me grants.... which, is what i need. i have someone interested in purchasing a building, but some things are held up in that regards. but, it will happen.

i've been reading in romans, and God has been really speaking to me through it... the message version says this: God does not respond to what we do; "we respond to what God does. We've finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade"

that's chapter 3 verse 28 for those of you that needed to know... you know who you are :) anyway, it's been good... real good... God's been speaking to me in a million different ways, and i'm enjoying life. join me will you?

this is the stuff

2011-01-01T18:04:00.003-05:00

alright, people.... seriously. we've all got stuff. but, the song that i put on here is a great refocus... at least for me it was. since christmas i've really been digging into God's word. it's been great. and, then i heard this song and was totally blown away. God is SO good. but, it's true. we've all got stuff. so, i'm giving my stuff to God... because i can :) and, so can you.

This Is The Stuff Lyric Video

2011-01-01T17:51:00.001-05:00

stolen...

2010-12-13T14:54:00.003-05:00

i completely stole the following, but it rings SO true....

What does it mean to experience God? Every church culture has their preferred answer to that question, and I have been around long enough to have seen it all. While I certainly acknowledge that God can do whatever he wants, I am concerned that our tendency is to confuse experiencing God with amusing ourselves. I fear that we seek the thrill of God like he is the latest amusement park ride or bungee jump.

Must ecstasy be necessary to validate a God encounter? What about the small, the subtle, the profound…or the ordinary? Have we been conditioned to believe that goose bumps are the ultimate symptom of an authentic encounter with God? Damn, I hope not - because I can get goosebumpy from hearing my daughter, Carlee, sing the national anthem :) (or for me, my son, Maz... doing just about anything)

What if God is in the ordinary and we miss it because we are looking for the big and flashy? What if he is right there at the Little League game, at the homeless shelter, when you are making love to your wife, holding the hand of a friend, or noticing the green in the spring leaves?

Experiencing God isn’t just about having a feeling – as wonderful as that might be. It's about relationship…you know, that messy stuff that encompasses the good, the bad, the attractive and the ugly. God wants us to experience him in the moments of our lives and to respond with questions, the frustrations, the wonder and the awe that really come out of our experiences.

How do we cultivate an existence where experiencing God is a lifestyle? My hunch is that it is primarily about awareness…looking around and taking the time to notice. How different might things be if I viewed every situation of my life as an opportunity to encounter God in some way, which turns into a reason for relationship? Maybe the experience of the ordinary would be sweeter and the pain of the struggles would not be so lonely.

2010-12-13T14:17:00.002-05:00

"find a way to change your point of view, and that will change.... everything"

one would think that by listing my blessings my point of view would be changed... i've always had the "get over it attitude." so, it bothered me this morning when i was frustrated and i couldn't just "get over it." i went about my day anyway... still frustrated, but trying to make the most of every opportunity... because that's what i do. and, in time it worked... i went sledding with my boys. and then we came to my moms and i got in the hot tub with maz. as soon as i was in there i was feeling better... well, shoot... as soon as i was freezing in the snow with my boys i felt better. some things just take time. not much to say other than that. i love my boys.

today

2010-12-13T10:47:00.004-05:00

School was cancelled here in Bremen today. Not a good day. I live in town so I'm not too sure why school was cancelled. There is some snow on the ground, but I thought we could handle a little snow. I guess there is a winter storm warning or something. Oh well. It is what it is. Unfortunately, today I am irritated. And, well.... it's not fun to be irritated. So, now is a good time to list my blessings.

*relationships... This could be an entire list of names, but it would be difficult to make the list complete because really there are so many relationships that are simply blessings to me.

*hugs and kisses... I've got this little boy here that is pretty much always available for a hug or kiss :)

*a warm home

*food

*a vision... God gave me a vision for a youth center in Bremen... i continued seeking Him, praying, praying, and praying some more... and it looks as if this vision may become a reality soon.

I've been praying like crazy for God to work in me and through me... and I know that He will have his way in my life. But, that doesn't mean there won't be difficult days. And, well... that sucks. Every day should be amazing :)

Yet today I will end with a quote that my friend shared on her page....

To be blessed doesn't mean that you are untroubled, healthy, admired, or prosperous. It means that all is well between you and God, that you are deeply secure and profoundly content in God even though you may be weeping over the pain of a sick body, a deteriorating mind, a rebellious spirit, or a dysfunctional relationship. The blessing is not that He gives us what we want but that He gives us Himself, especially in our painful places."-- Nancy Guthrie, One Year Book of Hope, p. 331

Jesus parenting

2010-12-03T10:33:00.004-05:00

Jesus didn't have kids, but he did have disciples. Not everyone that is living life has kids, but everyone does have someone that is watching them. For me, it's not only my husband and son... but it's so much more. For me, today, this is particularly prompted by thoughts of my son, but I believe they can be applied to so much more. The more I think about it the more I feel like it applies to ME, but I am trying to instill it in my son.

Here it is,

In John 17 Jesus is praying. First, he prays to be glorified... (as should I)

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. ² For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. ³ Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. ⁴ I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. ⁵ And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

Then Jesus prays for his disciples.. (as I pray for my son and those that I influence)

⁶ “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. ⁷ Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. ⁸ For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. ⁹ I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. ¹⁰ All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. ¹¹ I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. ¹² While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

¹³ “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. ¹⁴ I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. ¹⁵ My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. ¹⁶ They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. ¹⁷ Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. ¹⁸ As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. ¹⁹ For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

This too, is my prayer...

And, thank you, Jesus, for loving us enough to pray to your Father for us!

And further in the chapter Jesus prays for all believers...(which I should also do)

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

²⁴ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

²⁵ “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. ²⁶ I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Good stuff. God is good. He leads me. I pray that I stay in a place of surrender to Him. Today, I surrender myself to you, Jesus. I am yours.

Today, what are you praying for? Will you surrender?

hope

2010-11-20T14:59:00.003-05:00

romans 8:18-27

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that^{h]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[h]} the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

²² We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

i usually read the first verse in that and stop. it's so true.... our present sufferings are NOT worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us.

I always thought of Heaven and eternity. I always thought about how our suffering here is not worth worrying about because of an awesome eternity that awaits us. What I did not do was realize that God wants us to hope for more... not just eternity, but now.

Pregnancy is 9 months (or more if you're me) of anticipating a child... a life that will be brought into the world. At times pregnancy can be exhausting. At times pregnancy can be a pain. But, I was also definitely eagerly expecting what God was going to give me. And, I am SO happy with what he did give me!

Sometimes the process of life is like pregnancy. The difference for me is that I want change, but I'm not hopeful and I don't have that eager anticipation that I had with my pregnancy. I just want out of the situation that I am currently in.

After reading that passage last night I feel like some hope was birthed in me :) Sure, I want out of the situation that is hard and hurting, but I am praying for peace during the "pregnancy".... or hard time.

God is good. He has plans for our family. And, I am expectant! I fully commit to seeking Him and am eagerly anticipating what is to come! Yet, I will also enjoy the "pregnancy". I will follow God today and do what He is telling me to :)

Be blessed!

beauty.....

2010-11-15T14:03:00.002-05:00

1 Peter 3:3
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

This society sucks.

todays mazism

2010-11-14T19:45:00.004-05:00

you can learn a lot from kids. today maz was talking to someone (a 50 year old someone) who said they could use a friend. and maz said, "really? if you need a friend all you have to do is ask Jesus for a friend. he'll give you one. and if you want a brother and sister you have to ask Jesus too."

not only is my kid freaking hilarious... my kid is full of wisdom :)

Jesus feeds the 5000

2010-11-13T20:20:00.003-05:00

Michael was reading that Bible story to Maz tonight before bed. At the end of each little story in the Bible we have for Maz there is a question or 2. After the story it talked about how the little boy gave Jesus something little and Jesus turned it into something really significant. Then it asked the question, "What could you give Jesus?" And, Maz said to Michael, "hmmmm... i don't know.... some meatloaf or something.... meatloaf is good."

Once again, my kid is freaking hilarious.

who am i?

2010-11-13T08:51:00.003-05:00

“For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves.”- 1 Peter 2:15-16

do you ever hear a message and thing, "so and so needs to hear this."? or do you ever read scripture and think, "if only so and so read this this morning."? or do you ever hear a song and think, "wow... that fits so and so's life perfectly."?

this is something i have dealt with a lot in my life. it's just a form of judgment. and, it's not where i want to be. i am commited to being who God wants me to be... i am commited to being concerned about my life... and not always trying to "fix" others.

let me clarify... i don't think it's wrong to think of other people in an encouraging way. i just think it's wrong to pin a verse on a person in a simply angered or judgmental way. you can sort out the differences for yourself, but i understand what i mean :)

the whole chapter of 1 Peter 2 is pretty awesome, and i learned a lot by reading it today. i learned a lot about myself. i am grateful that i have been given the faith to believe easily that what God has for me is good.... even if it is sometimes not fun or isn't easy.

⁹ But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. ¹⁰ Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

yay.

Sanctus Real - Lead Me (Lyrics)

2010-11-09T21:44:00.000-05:00

wow

2010-11-09T21:40:00.003-05:00

so, my day has been full of blessings. first, i woke to 2 little voices down the hall... mazerick had his cousin brody spend the night, and they had a blast. they are a joy. second, i got to blow the rest of the leaves off of our lawn... with my moms new snowblower. it was awesome and fun. third, i got to spend some quality time with the man i love. he is amazing. that leads me to a song that i heard later in the evening by sanctus real that is awesome... the song is on my next blog. anyway, yeah. it's good. i am so happy with where God has me in life. it's not always easy, but i know he's in control, and that makes me full of joy... and fortunately i'm in a spot in my life where not only is m life full of joy, but it's also full of happiness. sure, some days are extremely hard, but i know that i've got a great support system... my husband, my family, my friends... shoot, even my kid. lot's of people to love. God is good. anyway, on with my list of blessings from today.... so, there was the quality time with my husband, and after he went to work i got some quality time with my computer :) facebook, browsing blogs, etc. then... i had quality time with "my girls" minus the lovely jenni blye who is now serving in sunny and warm florida. congrats to jenni! and then, i got to go to a "training" for the holy walk. i am really, really excited about it. you should definitely go. I found a pretty good description in the Chicago paper online... "This walk-through living history presentation features volunteers who portray characters from Roman soldiers to shepherds tending sheep, the Holy Family and a live nativity. Check the website for more information. Dec. 3-4, 2010."

anyway, it should be fun... hmmmm, my font changed.

after the "training" was over i went to pick up mazerick from my mom who so graciously watched him last minute so i didn't have to take him. as i was leaving i opened the door and said, "and he told me all about the chocolate." and maz said, "did you just call me andy?" the kid is freakin hilarious.

the end.

today

2010-10-31T17:45:00.002-04:00

today is michaels day off. i love it when he has days off. let me give you just a snippet into our life today.

green bay is playing football on the tv.

michael: well, that's pointless.

me: what?

michael: the cheerleaders are wearing coats. they may as well have been given the day off.

wow. that's all i have to say about that.

i love my husband :)

thoughts to words

2010-10-30T14:48:00.002-04:00

i rode into work with michael today. i dropped him off and came to panera to finish my book and have some quiet time. my thought process was pretty amusing. i honestly thought, "i hope i don't see anyone i know. i'm just in the mood to be alone for a bit." and, i really couldn't even believe i was thinking that. anyway, if i didn't want to see anyone i knew then why did i keep looking at every person that i came across. i could have just kept my head in my book and distracted, but nooooooooo..... i had to look at everyone. curiosity killed the cat they say :) anyway, i did not see anyone i know... not yet anyway :)

it's funny how my mind works though. i didn't want to see anyone i know, but i did want to be around people. and, even though i didn't know them i was very much entertained by a family that was sitting near me. it apppeared to be a couple about grandparents age, a woman and her two teenage sons. i wished i would have had my laptop out when they were here because they totally had me laughing with their conversation.

i really like listening to others conversations. unfortunately none that i am hearing right now are blogworthy.

people are funny.

my calling and boys :)

2010-10-28T13:13:00.002-04:00

so, while i was reading a book for my book club (which i absolutely LOVE), one of the characters said something that i really have thought about. she said, "not everyone recieves a calling. most people just fall into something." very interesting.... i don't think i agree, but it has definitely created some thought. i think that the people that "don't recieve a calling" are really just not looking. Jesus said, "for i know the plans i have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." so, God's got plans for us.... that's our calling... we just need to seek it. my calling for the future is to open a youth center in bremen. that's what i have been called to do. i heard God. in the meantime that doesn't mean i should sit on my butt and just wait for it to happen. i have to get out there, form a nonprofit, get donatiions and grants, work, work, work. but i'm not going to neglect today either. i'm going to fulfill God's calling for my life daily. my daily calling is to be the woman God wants me to be. raise my boy with Gods help and be a help mate to my husband i know it's not all about that. i know that my identity is in Christ and Christ alone, but He has called me to do these things... be a loving mom and wife... and teach my son. speaking of my son... it's really cruddy out here today.... rainy, and the like. and maz has his friend from preschool over, hunter. this is the first time hunter has come over, and these boys are having the time of their life. they are loving it. it's fun to watch them laugh and play together. it's fun to know that God is placing people in Mazericks life from a young age that can be an encouragement and friend to him. i'm glad i get to be a part of it!

my kid :)

2010-10-10T20:03:00.002-04:00

is funny. i could stop there, but i will share a few reasons why.

he completely mimics my husband. luckily i am fortunate enough that my husband is pretty funny too.

maz is playing wii golf with grandpa right now and he just said, "aw, can you believe that, bruce?" in a really cute voice.

he swings around like crazy while playing the wii. a lot of times it doesn't even matter what he is playing. could be baseball. could be golf. could be mario kart.... whatever, the boy is always using his energy :)

he's been on this singing kick. he sings a lot... makes me laugh.

he has this new laugh. it sounds almost fake.

he is better at wii sports than most of us.

he has awesome hair.

the irony in my own cynicism

2010-10-10T15:28:00.003-04:00

so, i have been thinking, learning, the whole gammut lately. so, we are now part of a house church because that's where we feel God's got us.... making disciples, and my husband really feels called to this. so, i'm in. it has made me a bit skeptical or cynical about the larger church. not 100% because there are still things about the larger church that i absolutely love. but, i do have some cynicism. i love the vineyard church and that's where i normally attend if i go to a larger church. but last night i went to gcc because, well, because my brother asked me. his wife anna plays sax there and she was playing. i don't want to be skeptical, but i just am. it's something that just is. i'm sure most people have things in their life like that. if you do and you'd be willing to share that'd be great. i used to go there and i really liked it. and, i realized last night that i still really enjoy it. bob laurent is one of the pastors there and i've always loved hearing him speak. he spoke last night. the music was good and the message was great. he spoke on exactly what i needed to hear. you should check it out on their website. the ironic part (my cynicism) is that God chose to speak to me through something that i'm just cynical of. and, i don't want to be cynical. i love what they do there. i really appreciate them. go gcc... hats off to ya! not that you need my hat off, but anyway... thanks for what you do :)

another mazism....

2010-10-03T20:34:00.003-04:00

i can't stop... i've put him to bed 3 times tonight.... but, while putting him to bed he kept getting up and i just let him sit with me... i'm watching letters to God... and it's about a little boy who writes letters to God. anyway, this kid was telling his brother he should write letters to God and that was his favorite way to talk to God... and i said to maz, "you can write letters to God when you get bigger." and he said, "i already write letters to God. but i can only write 2 letters to God. P and O."

what a freaking cute kid.

todays mazism

2010-10-03T15:54:00.002-04:00

so, i'm on the computer and maz is playing wii. i tell him to go to the bathroom before he starts the next game. he says, "nah." i say, "if you don't go to the bathroom you don't get to play another game." and he says.... "harsh."

i was like, did you just say harsh? and he was like, yeah... that's what daddy always says :) what a great kid!

just some thoughts

2010-10-02T14:51:00.002-04:00

i've been struggling with, well, just with being i guess. i'm all about making other people happy. but, in the mean time i've forgotten about myself. well, i don't want to stop being there for other people. i don't want to stop making other people happy, because in all reality, that's part of what makes me happy... making others happy. but, what i do need to do is remember myself. remember that it's not really all about others. what makes me happy? outside of others, what makes me happy?

*games
*hearing from Jesus :)
*music
*the internet (i know... it's shallow, but true)
*fun movies
*food :)

man, it's so hard to make a list without including things with people. in all reality i can't really get a lot of enjoyment without other people. sorry, but that's just me. sure, i've heard, "well i can't make you happy" yada, yada... it's true... a person in themselves can't make someone happy, but i think it's okay to be happier because we get to share life with people. hmmm... i think that was a tangent. :)

on to what i was really thinking about.... Jesus... yeah, he's cool

the first thing that Jesus reminded me of today was in 1 john...."let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." that is what i really needed to hear today because i've been really trying to love my husband by "being there for him." (my words, not his) and, i've been trying to say the right thing because i figured if i can just say certain things he'll feel loved... and it was killing me... it was killing me because i wasn't able to say the right thing. finally, i went in the other room and spent some time with Jesus.... and he said to me... check this out.... and then there was that verse. how freaking awesome is that? pretty awesome.

and also, i am reading in proverbs.... and proverbs 2 says this:

my son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding

and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding

and if you look for it as silver
and search for it as hidden treasure

then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.

wow... if that's not something to chew on and think about i don't know what is.

ah, back to the origination of this post... it really makes me smile when i make people smile. wow, this has been kind of all over the place, huh?

life and identity

2010-09-24T08:59:00.002-04:00

so, i've been in this spot lately where i've been realizing where my identity is, and thinking about what i want it to be, etc. etc. and, i've realized... i've come to terms with.... the fact that i'm not like beth moore, and some of those other really good writers, but here i am anyway :)

i have really been relying on God. a lot. and, He has been teaching me. and, i've been seeing things in a different light. well, kind of. you see, i've always loved God and sought his will for my life. i've known of all the things that i "should" do-spiritually. all of the things that i "should" do to keep my relationship with God in the forefront. and the other night my husband (who is so awesome) was telling a friend that when it comes to her relationship with God she needs to take all of the "should" out and just be with him. Get to know him and who He wants you to be. I've known this forever, but think i got stuck in a rut again.... of "shoulding". And, where do you go from there?

well, i went here...

colossians 4:2 says, "devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." and i went to proverbs... because the vineyard church is doing that, and i like doing that kind of stuff with people. and, i've been going to friends.... cause they are awesome. yep.

and, i've been thinking a lot about my identity lately. i want to be exactly who God wants me to be. i want to be a good wife, a good mom, and a good friend. but, i also just want to be. i think more importantly than being a good wife, mom and friend God wants me to just be. be happy in him. be grateful. be open to listening. and just be. so, that's where i'm at.

stealing again

2010-09-14T21:14:00.000-04:00

sometimes i've just got to share...

Lesson with a Hairbrush
by Beth Moore

Knoxville airport all waiting to board planes:

I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego...

I tried to keep from staring but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy grey hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.

I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered reading somewhere that he was dead. So this man in the airport...an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....

There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.

I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. "Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!"

There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, "Please don't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane." Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair."

The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm your girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."

Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."

I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I suppose to brush his hair without a hairbrush?"

God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly finish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:7) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies.

I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as demurely as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?"

He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?"

"May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?"

To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that.

At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?" At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat.

I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to." Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush."

"I have one in my bag," he responded.

I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair.

It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull.

A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair.... Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I—for that few minutes—felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's.

His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said, "Sir, do you know my Jesus?"

He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures.

He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior." He said "You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself what a mess I must be for my
bride."

Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it.

Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft.

I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, "That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?"

I said, "Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!" And we got to share.

I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!

I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way...all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.

John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We
have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the
Father, full of grace and truth."

Excerpt taken from "Further Still", by Beth Moore, B & H Publishing Group, Nashville TN. Copyright © 2004 Beth Moore.

desires

2010-09-01T11:27:00.001-04:00

do you ever have these desires that you feel like are from God, but they just aren't being fulfilled? i do.

the den

2010-08-29T16:49:00.001-04:00

so, i started a blog for the den youth center. check it out.

feeling sorry for yourself?

2010-08-27T09:29:00.002-04:00

i get frustrated sometimes. today i felt like God led me to 1 peter. and, the following is the first thing i read...

Cultivate Inner Beauty

^1-4The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

actually i read it in the niv first so it says, "wives, be submissive to your husbands." which was funny to me.... i was like, "man, why would God lead me to that scripture right now?" ugh. anyway, i like my husband :) read on...

^4-6Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as "my dear husband." You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

⁷The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God's grace, you're equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don't run aground.

Suffering for Doing Good

^8-12Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing.

Whoever wants to embrace life
and see the day fill up with good,
Here's what you do:
Say nothing evil or hurtful;
Snub evil and cultivate good;
run after peace for all you're worth.
God looks on all this with approval,
listening and responding well to what he's asked;
But he turns his back
on those who do evil things.

^13-18If with heart and soul you're doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you're still better off. Don't give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They'll end up realizing that they're the ones who need a bath. It's better to suffer for doing good, if that's what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That's what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others' sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.

that is some good stuff :) i love Jesus :)

today

2010-08-25T08:59:00.002-04:00

typically i do not sleep past 7:30. this is in large due to the fact that mazerick wakes up pretty early. but today, i rolled over to see the clock say 8:21. oh my. maz has to be at school at 9. okay, well we've still got time to get up and get ready and get him there on time. so, i get up and get dressed. i go down the hall to get maz up. i go in his room and say, maz... time to get up. and he says, "mom, you've got to be kidding me." no joke. even in his sleep he's funny. i was like, yeah maz. you've got to get up to go to school. and he says, "but i'm still sleeping." i say, "okay, well... you need to start waking up. i'm going downstairs, but i'm leaving your door open so you can start to wake up and get up on your own." and i went downstairs... not a minute later i hear "click" he closes his door. what a kid :) he got up about 5 minutes later, but man... that kid cracks me up :)

God is good :)

inspiring

2010-07-13T12:36:00.003-04:00

people in general really inspire me. my friend sarah is inspiring to me.... she's not just inspiring, she's awesome... anyway, i stole the following right off of her page :)

...this week in nancy guthries "one year book of hope", i pondered this as i read;

To run from suffering is to refuse to see God's hand at work in the midst of it To run from suffering is to rejectthe lssns God has for you in it..
While Jesus tells us no to run from suffering, he suggests we do more than simply endure it. He admonishes us to embrace it... To embrac suffering is to enjoy God's presence in your life even when you are filled with questions fo rhim. To embrace suffering is to enter into a deeper relationship wit God that you could not hav enjoyed without experencing pentetrating pain. The suffering not only makes you crave such a elationship, it gives you the capacity to savor it. Ultimately, to embrace suffering is to allow your now broken heart to be more easily rebroken by the thing that break the heart of God.

*wow*

If you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for He will never fail you. 1 Pet. 4:19

now, that, my friends.... is intense.